Tim: What are you afraid of?
Tam: Well, what if we do go out and I do something stupid and dump you again?
Tim: What if I dump you?
Tam: *scoffs* Come on, be serious.
Tag: tim drake
When Nightwing’s away on a mission and the only adult available for relationship advice is your, um, other older brother…
Jason: *shrugs* I don’t know what to tell you. Buy her something.
Tim: How does that work?
Jason: Well, you skip over any attempt to repair your emotional connection and you win back her affection with an empty financial gesture.
When another superhero/vigilante hits on Spoiler during a mission…
Cass [to Steph]: Doesn’t he know you have a boyfriend?
Barbara: Oh, she doesn’t have a boyfriend. She has a Tim.
Tim: *tightening his tie and straightening out his double-breasted suit in front of a mirror*
Tim: I’m going to the movies with Tam. I don’t want her to think I think it’s a date.
Jason: Do you think it’s a date?
Tim: *clipping his cuff links and shining his black Oxford shoes* No, but she might think I think it’s a date, even though I don’t.
Jason: Or you might think she thinks you think it’s a date, even though she doesn’t.
Tim: *grooming his hair* Are we overthinking this?
Jason: *handing him a bouquet of roses and a box of chocolates* Not at all.
If you ever wonder what Red Hood watches on TV in his spare time…
After an intense sparring session in the Batcave:
Jason: *panting* Come on, Timmy. I’m exhausted. And Tyra Banks says that the most important item in your make-up bag is a good night’s sleep.
Practicing for his Batfamily reunion stand-up routine…
Tim: What do Damian and a black hole have in common? They both suck.
And he’ll say it with a straight face, too.
When your master hacker of a brother sets up the fastest Wi-Fi ever in his bedroom…
Jason: Hey, Timbo, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Tim: Yes, it’s “Jason, get your own Wi-Fi”. No spaces.
Commentating for a remote control-motivated scuffle between your two younger brothers be like…
Jason: Tim’s going all alpha-nerd on Damian’s ass!
Mornings at the Manor…
Jason: *cooking pancakes*
Dick: *doing a headstand and using his feet as hands* Blueberry, Jay!
Alfred: *slapping Dick’s feet away from the kitchen counter* Same, Master Jason.
Bruce: *reading the Gotham Gazette* Hn. Same.
Tim: *pouring a fizzing liquid from one test tube to another* Same.
Damian: -Tt-
Jason: Okay, so the same for everyone, with extra spit on Damian’s.
On “The Wayne Family TV Special”…
Interviewer: *asks about the family dynamic*
Jason: It’s what we do. We give each other a hard time.
Jason: Hey, Timmy! You look like a praying mantis.
Camera: *pans to Tim*
Tim: *typing on his laptop, with sunken red eyes and coffee-stained clothes*
Tim: *deadpan* That was very hurtful.
Why Bruce agreed to this, perhaps we’ll never know.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 