Damian: Drake, you don’t think I’m condescending, do you?
Tim: *clears throat* Well…
Damian: Oh, I’m sorry. “Condescending” means –
Tim: I know what it means. And, yes, you like to correct people and put them down.
Damian: Au contraire. When I correct people, I’m raising them up. You should know. I do it for you more than anyone else.
Trying to (apologetically) explain your little brother’s condescending attitude to his teammates be like…
Red Robin [to the Teen Titans]: Damian doesn’t know when he’s being mean because the part of his brain that should know is getting a wedgie from the rest of his brain.
Mission in the Alps be like…
Red Robin: *snow-covered and shivering* H-how c-c-could y-you possibly be th-that excited t-to be in a freakin’ a-avalanche?!
Red Hood: *shrugs* I have… kind of a weird bucket list.
Tam: I’m dating Tim Drake-Wayne.
Tiffany: Yes. On purpose.
Tam: He’s handsome, he’s lanky, he’s brilliant, and his skin has a pale, waxy quality.
Tiffany: Well, sickly is the new sexy.
Dick: Hmmm. It’s going to be difficult to find something you’re both equally good at…
Jason: Is there anything you’re both equally bad at?
Tim and Damian: Human emotions.
Rescuing your brother who’s been stranded in the jungle for five weeks be like…
Nightwing: *hugs Tim* You’re so brave, little brother. I’m proud of you.
Red Robin: *staring blankly* I ate a butterfly. It was so small, so beautiful… I was so hungry.
When Batman pairs Red Robin and Spoiler up for a mission…
Steph: I’m so excited to work with my boyfriend! It’s going to be so romantic!
Tim: Way to kill the mood.
Red Robin on honeymoon night be like…
Tam: *running a finger down his chest* Oh… Are we nervous, Mr. Drake-Wayne?
Tim: No. What you see is a man trembling with confidence.
Visiting Red Hood’s safe house be like…
Tim: *looking at a reminder board on the kitchen wall*
Jason: It’s color-coded. Red means “Fix right away”, yellow is “Eh, whenever I get the chance”, and green is “I could probably learn to live with it”.
Tam: *rummaging through Tim’s stuff* Comics? What are you, some kind of nerd?
Tim: Not “some kind” of nerd. I’m the King of Nerds.
Tam: What does that mean?
Tim: Uh, it means if anyone pisses me off, I don’t help them set up their printer.
Tam: *puts arms around Tim* You are so funny.
Tim: Good. Remember that when I take my shirt off.
And show her your 8-pack? Yeah, she’ll definitely forget how funny you are.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 