When you’re stuck with your pun-loving older brother on patrol night…

Red Robin: *facepalms*

Red Robin: Is this how the rest of the night’s gonna be?

Red Hood: *shrugs* I don’t know the future.


Why so serious, Timmy? Oh, right. You’re in the middle of taking down a criminal empire.

When your brother begs you to go birthday gift shopping for your other brother with him…

Dick: *grins* Wow, you really do love Tim.

Jason: I do.

Jason: Now, let’s find the kind of gift that makes him feel small and worthless.

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

When you’re stranded in the middle of wherever and calling your family’s all you’ve got…

Red Robin: What.

Red Hood [on the Comm Link]: Timbo, hey, shut up. I need you to wire me a thousand dollars.

Red Robin: Wow.

Red Hood: Yeah.

Red Robin: No.

Red Hood: Yes!

Red Robin: No!

Red Hood: Oh, for – Then just lemme talk to Babs!

Oracle: Absolutely not. Huh? Because pick any one of an infinite number of reasons! Yeah, okay, hang on…

Spoiler: Mmmmyeah, no, I would, but Cass and I can’t really leave the mall at the moment… But I can transfer you…

Lark: No, I seriously thought you were joking. Yeah, hang on…

Robin: *sinister laughter*

Red Hood: Okay. Okay! Lemme talk to Dick!

Red Hood: Dick?! Dick, listen, I –

Nightwing: Noop.

Red Hood: – need you to –

Nightwing: Noop.

Red Hood: Stop saying “noop”!

Nightwing: Noop, Jason. Noop. And it’s gonna sound like I’m hanging up, but — *static*

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

When you’re stranded in the middle of wherever and calling your family’s all you’ve got…

Red Robin: What.

Red Hood [on the Comm Link]: Timbo, hey, shut up. I need you to wire me a thousand dollars.

Red Robin: Wow.

Red Hood: Yeah.

Red Robin: No.

Red Hood: Yes!

Red Robin: No!

Red Hood: Oh, for – Then just lemme talk to Babs!

Oracle: Absolutely not. Huh? Because pick any one of an infinite number of reasons! Yeah, okay, hang on…

Spoiler: Mmmmyeah, no, I would, but Cass and I can’t really leave the mall at the moment… But I can transfer you…

Lark: No, I seriously thought you were joking. Yeah, hang on…

Robin: *sinister laughter*

Red Hood: Okay. Okay! Lemme talk to Dick!

Red Hood: Dick?! Dick, listen, I –

Nightwing: Noop.

Red Hood: – need you to –

Nightwing: Noop.

Red Hood: Stop saying “noop”!

Nightwing: Noop, Jason. Noop. And it’s gonna sound like I’m hanging up, but — *static*

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Stranded in a swamp…

Red Robin: Why are you so scared of crocodiles?

Red Hood: Gee, I don’t know, Tim. Maybe deep down, I’m afraid of any apex predator that lived through the K-T extinction.

Red Robin: The…?

Red Hood: Physically unchanged for 100 million years, because it’s the perfect killing machine – a half-ton of cold-blooded fury, with a bite force of 20,000 Newtons, and stomach acid so strong it can dissolve bones and hooves. And now we’re surrounded, those snake-eyes are watching from the shadows, waiting for the night –

Nightwing:Waiting for the night! ♪

Robin: Damn it, Grayson!

Nightwing:Ooh-hoo!

Red Hood: Keep your voice down!

Nightwing: Why?! Crocodiles don’t have ears!

Red Hood: They absolutely have ears, dickhead!