Discussing how to get back at your bully of a tiny brother…
Jason: Why don’t you give Damian one of those pills you take? That’ll make him give up on his dreams.
Tim: Relaxarex doesn’t make you give up on your dreams! That’s a side effect!
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
In which Jason’s jaw drops. That’s a real thing? I was kidding, Timbo… C’mere, let me – stop pushing – let me hug you.
Overheard from within the Manor game room at 4:15 AM…
Jason [to Tim]: Once you reach Level 16, you can see the color blurple.
Or the moment Bruce realized that his sons were never going to sleep. (They really do take after him.)
Mornings at the Manor…
Alfred: *preparing servings of Eggs Benedict*
Bruce: *reading the Gotham Gazette*
Dick: *choosing among his alphabetically arranged cereals*
Damian: *feeding grains to Jerry the Turkey by hand while whistling Beethoven’s “Symphony No. 9”.
Tim: *grappling with Jason, who’s tightly holding onto the last packet of instant coffee in the Manor, on the kitchen floor*
Tim: I’ll imaginary-sleep when I’m imaginary-dead!
Tim: I love you.
Tim: That being said, Damian gives me the creeps. So, for a romantic night in, how about we install security cameras and an alarm? *wags eyebrows*
Steph: *deadpan* Be still my heart.
Why the Robins steer clear of their sleep-deprived, caffeine-fueled, case-obsessed brother…
Jason: *taps Tim on the shoulder*
Tim: I am going to have to ask you to calm down, Jay, or I will have to taze you in the face.
Batman: *reads article in Gotham Gazette about Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, and Robin, and around 5 million dollars-worth of property damage*
Batman: Hrrrn.
Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, and Robin: …
Batman:
Batman: *sighs*
Batman: *takes out check book*
Batman: I prefer you screw up while not wearing your uniforms.
When you’re bored and trying to stay awake during one of Batman’s “lectures”…
Red Hood: *points at Batman, whispering* Pew, pew! Pew!
Red Hood: *blows imaginary smoke off finger guns, then tucks them into imaginary holsters*
Red Hood: I’m so good it’s stupid. I’m stupid good.
Red Robin: *overhears him from behind*
Red Robin: *with rings around drooping eyelids, drinking his fifteenth cup of coffee for the day* No. Just stupid.
Dick: *reads newspaper article about the Drake-Wayne/Fox engagement*
Dick [to Tim]: You intended to propose without telling me, your eldest and most good-looking brother?!
Damian: Keep pissing me off and I’m gonna rip your heart out, Drake, and that’s an organ you need!
Tim: *sips coffee* Actually, that’s a muscle.
Damian: Whatever!
You’re technically both right (it’s a muscular organ), but carry on.
Moments that make you go, “Now’s not the time, Jason”…
Thugs: *shooting at them from every direction*
Red Hood [to Red Robin]: Before I use you as a human shield, there are some things I need to say.
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