Introducing your older brother to the team be like…
Kon: Is your brother hitting on Kara?
Jason: *twenty feet away, getting a Kryptonian slap to the face*
Tim: Not successfully.
Tag: tim drake
Bruce [to his children]: You are very important to me. And I don’t always do the best job telling you that.
From somewhere at the back of the Batcave…
Alfred: *clears throat loudly*
Red Hood: Okay, I can see you’re not an idiot.
Red Robin: Wish I could say the same for you.
I adooooore their banter when they work together (e.g. “Batman and Robin Eternal”). This might as well be canon.
Power struggle within the family be like…
Red Hood: With Bruce and Dick off-planet, you’re acting captain… You know what happens if you fall asleep now?
Red Robin: Damian gags and binds me, then takes over.
It’s a good thing Timmy barely sleeps, then.
Damian: You mussed up Drake’s face, Todd. And that has endeared you to me somewhat.
Dick and Jason: *watching wide-eyed as Damian argues with Bruce*
Tim: *deadpan* So, he’s added cussing and hurling things to his repertoire. He really is a child prodigy.
Damian: *gagged and strapped to the dinosaur’s leg in the Batcave*
Dick: Guys. Cut him down from there.
Jason: *looks to Tim for approval*
Tim: The kid’s a pain in the butt!
Dick: *sighs* Yeah, but he’s our pain in the butt. So, cut him down before Bruce gets back.
Riding the Batmobile for the first time be like…
Tim [to Bruce]: *wiping vomit off his mouth* There are two things on this Earth that I’m thankful for right now: that you cannot read my mind and this seat belt right here.
Lip-reading your adoptive father’s phone conversations with colleagues be like…
Nightwing: Bruce’s mouth hasn’t moved in three and a half minutes.
Red Hood: *shrugs* Maybe Hal’s got him on hold.
Red Robin: No, no. His nostrils are flaring, he’s pacing like a maniac, and he just switched his phone from his right hand to his left hand like he wants to punch someone.
Very few beings in the Multiverse can make Batman lose his cool like a Green Lantern can.
The Robins and their Emergency Room visits (because sometimes Alfred isn’t around)…
Dick/Jason/Tim: So, hand-to-hand combat, parkour, jumping out of airplanes, that’s out, right?
Doctor: *looks at the camera like they’re on “The Office”*
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
And then there’s…
Damian: -Tt-
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 