At the Wayne Manor attic…
Dick: *dramatically walks out from behind a dusty, old cabinet wearing his 80’s Nightwing suit*
Jason: *clears his throat loudly*
Tim: *standing absolutely still but with shoulders shaking*
Damian: *jaw drop*
Duke: *eyes wide, covering his mouth*
Dick: You guys think I’m some sort of a joke!
Jason, Tim, Damian, and Duke: *break into a fit of laughter*
Jason: *wiping tears off his eyes* This isn’t disproving that theory.
Mornings at the Manor…
Duke: *nervously looks over his shoulder at Bruce pulling a sneering Damian by the scruff of the neck, Dick restraining a furious Tim via bear hug, Alfred telling Jason to get down from the kitchen counter, Cass ushering the family pets to safety, and the refrigerator on fire*
Duke: *sips chocolate milk, then looks straight into the Snapchat camera*
Duke: Jason attacked the counter with a fire axe and is still only the second craziest person in the kitchen.
Mornings at the Manor…
Bruce: *e-mailing the Justice League while discussing Wayne Tech plans with Lucius on the phone*
Dick: *stealthily picking blueberries off the pancakes on the serving tray while dangling upside down from the ceiling*
Alfred: *slapping Dick’s hand away while preparing Tim’s morning espresso shots*
Jason: *holding up a bag of catfood so it’s out of Damian’s reach*
Damian: *on his tippy toes trying to reach it while muttering censor-worthy threats to Jason*
Tim: *eyelids drooping and eyes red, wiping dried-up slobber off his face* How long was I out? Is Napster still a thing?
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Who’s gonna tell him?
Visiting your brother at Blackgate Penitentiary to give him a top secret escape code be like…
Tim: *stares at a bearded Jason through the glass partition*
Jason: *stares back*
Tim: *smirks*
Jason: *grins and takes the phone off the hook*
Tim: *follows suit*
Jason: Do you know how long someone who is as sarcastic as I am would last in prison? Suuuuuuch a long time.
Oh, he’ll last alright, but for completely different reasons.
A toast with Timothy Drake-Wayne…
Tim: To happiness!
Tim: Or, as I like to call it, sadness in its early stages.
The bottle of pinot noir? $20.
The ensuing awkward silence? Priceless.
Why you don’t ask your heavily sleep-deprived, just-returned-from-another-dimension-after-jumping-off-a-building son to make a toast at your wedding. @Bruce Wayne @Selina Kyle
Standing up for your younger brother be like…
Red Hood: Just a teenager, Bruce? Well, that “teenager” *points at Red Robin* saved my life.
Red Hood: Granted, it was in a video game…
When you really want to talk to your best friend about something but he’s about to jump off a skyscraper…
Superboy: Is this a bad time?
Red Robin: I’d say it’s about half past suuuuuuuuuuu —
Half past “suck”, Kon. He meant to say, “half past suck”.
Bruce: I scolded Damian today, so according to – *reads smudged writing on his palm* — “The Robin Bylaws”, I now have to grant him three wishes.
Alfred: …
Parenting. Comes easy, it does not.
Dick drafted the original bylaws, by the way. Jason, Tim, and Damian merely perfected them.
Brainstorming with your brothers, part 2…
Red Robin: *sighs*
Red Robin: Maybe we should brainstorm fundraising ideas that aren’t bake sales – *glares at Red Hood*
Red Robin: – or zoos where the humans are in cages and the animals come to visit. *glares at Robin*
In which you desperately need money to have the Batmobile repaired before Batman comes back from space and finds out that y’all took it for a joyride.
Brainstorming with your brothers be like…
Nightwing, Red Hood, and Robin: *stare expectantly at Tim, waiting for his approval*
Red Robin: Did you all hit your heads on each other’s heads?
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