Hanging out at Red Hood’s ultra-pristine safe house be like…
Dick: *stretching out on the couch*
Tim: *tries to grab remote control*
Damian: *slaps Tim’s hand away*
Jason: *walks into room carrying a tray of chips and soda cans*
Jason: Feet. On. The. Floor. Or come over no more.
Feet: *on the floor in a second flat*
Batman [to Robin]: Face your fear. You have a fear of heights, you go to the top of the building. You’re afraid of bugs, get a bug.
Relax, Bruce. He’s, like, a kid.
Jason [to Dick]: Where ya headin’ in those pants? 1982?
Cut him some slack, Jay. (Or, literally. Cut him some new slacks.)
“How to Get Your Nosy Girlfriend to Leave You Alone” by the Robins…
Dick: Pretend like you just woke up, okay? That will throw her off. Be sleepy.
Jason: And grumpy.
Tim: Stop naming dwarves!
Tim: I think that if you really like this girl, you should just trust her.
Dick: Thanks, Tim.
Jason: Or you could follow her and see where she goes.
Tim: Oh, that’s what I would do. Forget mine.
We expect nothing less from you boys. You are Batman’s sons after all.
When the only reading material you can find in the bathroom is Cosmopolitan magazine (that either Babs or Steph left behind)…
Jason: *toilet flush*
Jason: *walks out holding the issue* So, I took the quiz, and it turns out that I do put career before men.
When Batman seems a little distracted while on a stake-out…
Red Hood: What’s the matter, Bruce? You nervous about your speech?
Batman: No.
Batman: …
Batman: You wanna hear it?
Red Hood: Am I in it?
Batman: Yes. Right after I thank Gotham’s most powerful citizens for giving money to the museum, I sing a song about the wonder that is you.
Boy wonder, Bruce. Get it right.
After hearing about Damian’s plan to break Dick and Shawn up…
Jason: Well, I’m thinking that Dick’s our brother and Shawn makes him happy, so I say we just all be mature about it and accept her.
Damian: Yeah, we’ll call that Plan B, okay?
“How to Comfort a Lady” by Jason Peter Todd…
Jason: Babs. Relax. Go get a beer.
Barbara: I don’t want a beer!
Jason: Who said it was for you?
That one time Dick tried something different…
Jason: *staring intently at Dick*
Tim: With that moustache, doesn’t Dick remind you of Bruce’s Aunt Sylvia?
Jason: *throws hands up in relief* Thank you!
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