Damian: *holding up a dehydrated tomato* Do you know what this is?
Jason: Your classmate’s kidney?
How horrible do you think your little brother is, Jay?
Tag: jason todd
When Bizarro learned to cook for breakfast…
Roy: Whose eggs do you like better, his or mine? Huh?
Jason: Well, I… like both eggs equally.
Roy: Oh, come on! Nobody likes two different kinds of eggs equally. You like one better than the other, and I wanna know which!
Jason: Well, what’s the difference? Your eggs aren’t here anymore, are they? You took your eggs and you left! Did you really expect me never to find new eggs?
Well, technically, you left, Jay, but whatever.
Mornings at the Manor…
Dick: Man, this is weird. Ever realize that Captain Crunch’s eyebrows are actually on his hat?
Jason: That’s what’s weird? Boy Wonder, the man’s been captain of a cereal for the last forty years.
Other reasons why Timothy Jackson Drake is sleep-deprived…
Jason: You know, you should go outside and be with three-dimensional people…
Tim: *eating Cheetos off his sweater, sipping coffee from his drinking straw cap, and clicking furiously on the Xbox controller*
Tim: No. Inside good, outside bad.
Jason and Roy: *taking turns playing Batman: Arkham Knight on Xbox*
Jason and Roy: *hear alarm blaring*
Roy: Is that the fire alarm?
Jason: Yeah. *feels the floor* Oh, it’s not warm yet. We still have time.
Roy: Cool.
Roy: If you hated the bracelet so much, Jason, you should have just said so.
Jason: Well, doesn’t the fact that I wore the bracelet even though I hated it say something about our friendship and how much it means to me?
Roy: What about the fact that you insulted the bracelet and you made fun of me?
Jason: Okay, well, that’s the part where I’m an ass.
When you’re supposed to be legally dead, and yet get recognized on the street…
Woman: Excuse me.
Jason: Yeah?
Woman: Um, is your name Jason?
Jason: Uh, yes. Yes, it is.
Woman: Jason Todd?
Jason: Do you know me or are you just really good at this game?
Roy: Hey, what do you want to do for dinner?
Jason: *shrugs* Well, we could just stay in and cook for ourselves.
Jason and Roy: *laugh hysterically*
Jason: *handing out presents* … and for Dick, Mr. Sweet Tooth.
Dick: You got me a box of cereal?
Jason: And a gallon of milk!
Dick: Well, this is too much. I feel like I should get you another sweater.
Tim: I kind of have plans.
Damian: You have friends?
Tim: Yeah, I, uh… I have a date.
Jason: What?
Damian: You have a date?
Tim: Yes! I have a date.
Damian: With a girl?
Tim: *sarcastically* No, with a crouton. What is so strange about me having a date?
Jason: With a crouton?
And this is the story of why Timothy Jackson Drake was late for his date. (“It’s not you, I swear! It’s my brothers.”)
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