Tag: jason todd

When you’re trying to give your youngest son the “birds and bees” talk but your other sons want to stick around to see how it goes…

Bruce [to Damian]: *opens mouth to talk*

Bruce: *hears a camera shutter sound*

Bruce: Hn.

Bruce: *opens mouth to talk again*

Bruce: *notices the reflection of three heads peeking from a crevice in the cave on the Batcomputer screen*

Bruce [to Damian]: Oh, good, everyone’s in here. I was worried we’d have a private conversation for once.

A voice from the crevice: You’re welcome, Bruce!

Mornings at the Manor…

Jason: *brushes his teeth*

Jason: *pauses*

Jason: *exasperated sigh*

Jason [to Dick]: You’re flirting with your reflection again. Cut it out.

~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~

And that is why “NEW BATHROOM – Jason” is a suggestion found in the Wayne Manor Home Improvement suggestion box (set up by Alfred).

When you’re still pissed at your brother for pulling a prank on you during patrol…

Jason: Hey, Timbo, I gotta ask you something –

Tim: *cups an ear* What is that I hear? The ga-ga-ga-ghost of someone who’s dead to me?

Well, for a time, he was dead to everyone.

Jason: *crosses off some boxes on a calendar*

Tim: *typing furiously on the Batcomputer*

Tim: *red eyes with dark rings underneath them, ivory-pale skin, coffee-stained shirt (Or is that blood?)*

Jason: …

Jason: So, how many hours of energy did you drink this time?

He’s more zombie than you are, Jay.

When your youngest brother threatens you (and your other brothers) but you really just want to live in peace…

Jason [to Damian]: Look, kid, I don’t have a problem with you. I just don’t want to hang out with you if I don’t have to.

Mornings at the Manor…

Jason: *scouring the refrigerator*

Dick: *balancing a spoon on the tip of his nose while tiptoeing atop a kitchen stool*

Alfred: *picking up all of Dick’s fallen cutlery*

Tim: *fast asleep and drooling on his pancakes*

Damian: *tossing a “hay salad” for Batcow*

Jason: Ish iz anybody’sh shandwich? Because I’ve eaten half of it and I don’t like it.

You clearly don’t, Jay, based on that turkey scrap dangling from your mouth.

Taking turns “babysitting” Robin in your respective safe houses while Batman is away on an interplanetary mission be like…

Red Hood [to Nightwing and Red Robin]: This house, not equipped for kids, alright? I eat cereal out of wine glasses.