Mornings at the Manor…
Damian: *walking past Tim’s bedroom*
Tim: *installing state-of-the-art surveillance cameras*
Damian: Drake, are you worried about your safety?
Tim: No. I imagine if you were going to kill me, you’d have done it a long time ago.
Damian: That’s very true.
Isabel: *swooning* Why can’t all guys be like you?
Jason: Because if all guys were like me, the human race couldn’t survive
Roy: Dude, the thing that’s most beautiful about you is your confidence.
Jason: Really? Because people say that’s the most annoying part about me.
Are these “people” your family, Jay?
When you’re short on cash but need to load up your vigilante arsenal…
Red Hood: Wait, fine, my credit is bad. Do you accept street cred?
Trying to get a feel for whether your brother was being serious or sarcastic…
Tim [to Dick, about Jason]: He seemed really sincere, like when he tells me he hates my face.
Dick: *opens his arms widely* Have another hug.
Jason: I don’t want another hug. I’ve had four.
It’s probably more for him than it is for you, so just let him have this, Jay.
Teaching your little brother (who was raised by assassins in a mountain far away) about sports be like…
Dick: *setting up the rims and nets*
Jason: *dribbling the balls*
Tim: *configuring the shot clock*
Damian: *putting on his cleats* I’ve never played basketball. I’m certain I’ll pick it up. Who’s going to be goalie?
Giving a tour of Wayne Manor be like…
Jason: In Gotham, we have an expression, “Keep Calm and Don’t Mention Uncle Batsy in the Basement”.
Jason: But that might just be my family.
When it’s Family Patrol Night but you decide to grab a quick drink at a nearby bar first…
Batman: *glaring*
Red Hood: I’m not late, Bruce. It’s 9:18, which is practically 9:15, which is basically 9. If anything, I’m early.
Tim: *mumbles incoherently*
Jason: *walks past him*
Jason: *takes a few steps back*
Jason: I’m giving you the silent treatment, by the way. That’s why I walked right by you and didn’t respond.
Jay, you do realize that Timmy’s probably too sleep-deprived to even remember that you’re pissed at him for some reason, right? Also, that’s not how you do “mad”.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 