Damian: *kicks Jason’s bedroom door open*
Jason: *pauses from typing on his laptop*
Damian: Todd.
Damian: I trusted you with my e-mail address, and you betrayed that trust by sending me Internet banality.
He only accepts those adorable kitten-related memes, Jay.
Damian: *sneers*
Tim: I am going to introduce you to a world of hurt, you little brat!
Tim: *charges towards Damian*
Jason: *grabs Tim by the scruff of his neck*
Jason: You don’t want to get into it with Damian. The kid is one lab accident away from being a super villain.
Tam: Tim isn’t the kind of guy I usually go out with…
Jason: Timbo isn’t the kind of guy anyone usually goes out with.
You’re one to talk, Jay. Not exactly a lot of guys resurrected by the Lazarus Pit walking around.
When you’re only starting to realize just how particular your best friend is about everything…
Roy: Jason says he’s moving out of the safe house.
Damian: What did you do? Did you change the contrast or brightness settings on the television?
Roy: No.
Tim: Did you take a Band-Aid off in front of him?
Roy: No.
Dick: Did you buy generic ketchup? Forget to rinse the sink? Talk to him through the bathroom door?
That one time Superboy cried because Robin wouldn’t accept his birthday present for him…
Kara [about Jon]: Well, Damian, you are his best friend. Friends give each other presents.
Damian: I accept your premise; I reject your conclusion.
Tim [to Kara]: *whispering* Try telling him it’s a non-optional social convention.
Kara: What?
Jason: Just do it.
Kara [to Damian]: It’s a… non-optional social convention.
Damian: Ah. Fair enough. *takes the gift and walks away*
Dick: *grins* He came with a manual.
When you make fun of your little brother for not being born “conventionally”…
Damian: You see, I’m a superior genetic mutation, an improvement on the existing mediocre stock.
Jason: And what do you mean by “mediocre stock”?
Damian: That would be you.
Barbara: Jason, can I speak to you alone for a minute?
Jason: Why does everyone suddenly want to talk to me alone? Usually no one wants to be alone with me.
When you and your brothers take the Batmobile out for a spin without permission and it breaks down in the middle of nowhere…
Nightwing: Come on, guys, push!
Red Hood: If I push any harder, I’m gonna give birth to my colon!
Robin: I can’t feel my fingers! Hurry up!
Red Robin: It’s the same amount of work no matter how fast you go! Basic physics!
Red Hood: Timmy, if my fingers ever work again, I’ve got a job for the middle one.
Guess who lost the Robins’ Rock, Paper, Scissors battle to not take care of the flu-ridden Batbrat?
Red Hood: *stops his motorcycle in front of The Cheesecake Factory*
Red Hood: *sighs*
Red Hood [on the Comm Link]: Why didn’t you just have soup at home?
Damian: Todd, I have an IQ of 187. Pennyworth is on vacation. Don’t you imagine that if there were a way for me to have soup at home I would have thought of it?
Red Hood: You can have soup delivered.
Damian: *blows his nose*
Damian: I did not think of that.
Now, guess who lost the second round?
Tim: *tucks Damian in bed* Alright, get some rest and drink plenty of fluids.
Damian: What else would I drink, Drake? Solids? Gases? Ionized plasma?
Tim: *drops a sleeping pill into Damian’s glass of milk*
Tim: *smiling with gritted teeth* Drink whatever you want.
Guess who lost the Robins’ Rock, Paper, Scissors battle to not take care of the flu-ridden Batbrat?
Red Hood: *stops his motorcycle in front of The Cheesecake Factory*
Red Hood: *sighs*
Red Hood [on the Comm Link]: Why didn’t you just have soup at home?
Damian: Todd, I have an IQ of 187. Pennyworth is on vacation. Don’t you imagine that if there were a way for me to have soup at home I would have thought of it?
Red Hood: You can have soup delivered.
Damian: *blows his nose*
Damian: I did not think of that.
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