Batman: The Twilight Years…
Bruce: *on his deathbed* Dick. What a surprise.
Dick: Really? Were you expecting somebody else? Maybe, uh, one of your other sons?
Bruce: Oh, Jason, Tim, and Damian never visit.
Tag: incorrect batfamily quotes
When Batman tries to be a “fun dad”…
Bruce: I just booked us a little fishing trip.
Jason: Why, what did I do?
Red Hood [on the Comm Link]: I’m going to speak very carefully in case he’s with you.
Red Robin: You’re right.
Red Hood: Right about what? He’s there? What’s going on? Who’s with you? If it’s Bruce, say “nobody”.
Red Robin: Nobody.
Red Hood: Well, now I don’t know what’s going on!
Bruce [to the Press]: I can assure you that my family is back on track and no longer in any trouble.
Lucius: *whispering* Not according to today’s paper.
Bruce: *tightens his grip on the podium* Hrrn. What have we done this time?
I mean, did Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, and Robin have anything to do with five million-worth of property damage last night fighting off criminals in Gotham City? Nah.
Tim [about Bruce]: He’s our dad. I don’t want to disappoint him.
Jason: You and I are so different. It’s like we’re not even related.
Selina [to photographer]: Now, get one of Mr. Wayne and me on a date.
Bruce: A date? This is a date now? I thought this was just business.
Selina: Can’t it be a little bit of both?
Finding out that their teenaged brother tried smoking a cigarette…
Dick [about Tim]: He’s lying to me! Can you believe that? Where is this family’s morality?
Jason: I don’t know.
Jason: *a puff of smoke suddenly escapes his mouth*
Dick: What’s that?
Jason: It’s cold out here.
That one time – one time – Bruce and Talia tried to co-parent Damian…
Bruce: Well, I think stress is what leads to trouble. You know, the kind you put on Damian, even when he gets an A?
Talia: Minus. And an A gets him an extra hour of sleep. He knows that.
Jason: I can’t.
Bruce: Why not?
Jason: Because I’m … Don’t want to.
At least he’s honest.
Bruce: Don’t give me that look, Jason. I happen to be a more caring father than most.
Jason: Where’s my bed?
Bruce: I put it in storage.
To be fair, Jay, you were gone a while.
All kidding aside, we know Bruce’s not a perfect father, but he loves his kids very much and tries really hard to do right by them (just in… unconventional ways sometimes.) 🙂
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