Dick: Tim, I have to ask you a favor. It’s about my clothes…
Jason: *from his bedroom across the hall* Burn them! Burn them all!
Tag: incorrect batfamily quotes
Mornings at the Manor…
Dick: *scouring cabinets for the last box of Lucky Charms*
Jason: *sipping tea*
Tim: *working on his laptop, half a waffle hanging from his mouth*
Damian: *enters the kitchen looking solemn*
Damian: Drake. I need you to teach me how to be… a douchebag.
Dick and Jason:
Tim:
Tim: Let’s get started.
Tim and Damian: *walk out of the kitchen*
Jason: What is happening in the world?
When asked what it was like being a teenaged vigilante…
Red Robin: Is there a word that means both complete self-satisfaction and complete self-loathing?
When you fight with your best friend but can’t really avoid him for dramatic effect because you share a safe house…
Jason: I don’t like you and I don’t want to be your friend. So could you leave, please? Because I’m about to start crying, and you are the last person I want to cry in front of.
Roy: I want to cry, too. Where am I supposed to cry? You can’t monopolize the bathroom crying space.
Mornings at the Manor…
Jason: Lotus Bear Relax! I can smell it on you right now!
Tim: Stop smelling my hair!
Jason: You know how much that stuff cost?
Tim: I didn’t use your conditioner!
Jason: Then why does your hair look so baby soft?!
When the decline in the Gotham City crime rate leaves you a bum at the Manor for a while…
Dick: Just suck in your gut.
Jason: *scoffs* What gut?
Dick: That little pouch where you keep Alfred’s cookies.
The truth behind Batman’s death in the New 52…
Bruce: You told them I was dead?
Dick: Well, as I recall, you told our entire family I was dead, so now we’re even!
Bruce: Dick, this isn’t a saying-people-are-dead competition.
Undercover as S.T.A.R Labs employees…
Dick: *polishing his faux glasses* Jay, you look so smart in that coat.
Jason: Not that smart. I just found out that you’re supposed to wear clothes under this thing.
Rolling (rapping + trolling)…
Jason: *beatboxing*
Damian: Ain’t no party like a Tim Drake party ‘cause a Tim Drake party don’t start. *drops mic*
Visiting Red Robin’s, um, less-than-pristine Nest be like…
Jason: *stepping over mounds of dirty clothes and cowls, crushed coffee cups, Cheetos, and who knows what else*
Tim: *typing away on his laptop with saggy eyelids, half a cookie sticking out of his mouth*
Jason: Seeing you in your natural habitat is so disturbing.
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