Flirting with a geeky, sleep-deprived, teenaged vigilante be like…
Tim: You smell like strawberries.
Tam: It’s my lip gloss.
Tim: Does it taste like it smells?
Tam: *grins* You wanna find out?
Tim: Sure!
Tam: *leans in to kiss him*
Tim: *uses a finger to wipe lip gloss off her lips, then tastes it*
Tim: Mmmm.
Batman: The depths of your degeneracy continue to astound me.
Red Hood: Really? Still?
Nightwing: The depths of your degeneracy continue to astound me.
Red Hood: Really? Still?
Alfred: *humming while reading lab results on the Batcomputer*
Alfred: The good news, Master Jason, is that you are a perfectly healthy 50-year-old man.
Jason: Alf, I’m only 19!
Alfred: Tell that to your liver.
Shopping for your father’s birthday at an antique shop be like…
Dick: *looking at weapons previously owned by Earth-2 superheroes* Let’s just pick out a present that reflects Bruce.
Damian: *attempting to touch said weapons*
Tim: *browsing a rack of Silver Age costumes* Like what?
Dick: *swatting at Damian’s grabby hands*
Jason: *staring at a painting* How about a grizzly bear ripping apart a salmon?
Damian: -Tt-
Rescuing a beautiful damsel in the middle of a snowstorm be like…
Tam: Oh, no! How will I stay warm?
Red Robin: I recommend the buddy system.
Tam: *rolls eyes* You’re cute.
Red Robin: *grins* I know.
Mornings at the Manor…
Jason: *walks into the kitchen groggily*
Dick: *eating Cheerios cheerily*
Jason: *opens the refrigerator*
Jason: *groans*
Jason: *chugs a liter of water directly from the bottle*
Dick: … ?
Jason: I either drank too much or got hit by a train.
Or when you can’t recall if you got clobbered during patrol last night or hung out at a bar till 4 AM with your best bud, Roy.
When your little brother grew up being waited on hand and foot by servants (and Alfred’s on vacation)…
Damian: *carrying his Robin suit* You wash them, you dry them. How hard could it be?
Damian: -Tt-
Dick: So, what’s the problem?
Damian: Which one’s the washer?
When Batman invites the Justice League over for breakfast at the Manor before a mission…
Green Lantern: Alfie, ol’ man, I’d like some scrambled egg whites, dry wheat toast, and Earl Grey tea. *snaps fingers*
Alfred: Really, Mr. Jordan? Well, I’d like some new shoes, a jet pack, and a hairline.
Hal, you are sassing the wrong butler.
Family Patrol Night…
While grapple-hooking from skyscraper to skyscraper…
Robin: Can I go back to Superman’s farm tomorrow?
Batman: Why?
Robin: I want to hang out with Jon.
Batman: What, all of a sudden your father’s not good enough for you?
Robin: …
Robin: It’s not “all of a sudden”.
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