Family Patrol Night…
After 46 hours of spying on Black Mask’s men (and not seeing anything incriminating)…
Red Robin: *dozing off and almost dropping his binoculars*
Robin: *trying to keep his eyes open* -Tt-
Nightwing: *yawns and whips out his mobile phone*
Red Hood: You know, there were plenty of ways to pass the time before smartphones were invented.
Nightwing: That’s true.
Red Hood: *whips out his mobile phone* I’ll look them up – Oh, son of a Bat!
Dick and Jason: *watching as Tim downs his fourth cup of coffee, spilling some on his ketchup and mustard-stained shirt, burps loudly, and wipes dried slobber off his face*
Dick: *sighs*
Jason: I love him, but if he’s broken, let’s ask Bruce not to get a new one.
Steph: We are just people. *gestures to Babs, Cass, and herself* We talk about the same things you guys talk about.
Dick, Jason, Tim: *blink*
Tim: You talk about if werewolves can swim?
Okay, maybe not specifically what you talk about, but…
When your youngest brother wants to show you his appreciation…
Dick: You’re giving us… stickers?
Damian: Not just any sticker. Those are stickers of a kitty saying, “Me-wow!”.
Tim: We’re not preschoolers.
Damian: Fine, I’ll take them all back.
Jason: I earned this! Back off!
Damian: Drake’s upset with me, and I’m not clear as to why.
Jason: Okay, were you talking before you he got upset?
Damian: Yes.
Jason: That’s probably it.
Robin: *yelling from two rooftops away* I know where you live!
Red Robin: *yelling back* And I live where you live!
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
This is not how you threaten each other, boys, but carry on…
When your eldest brother drops by after work…
BPD Officer Grayson: Hey, mister, can I read you your rights? You have the right to remain hugged.
Damian: *trying to wriggle free* -Tt-
Interventions at the Manor…
Alfred: *wearing a mask and carrying a vacuum cleaner*
Dick: *putting on gloves*
Jason: *filling a black garbage bag with piles of… What are these, Timbo?*
Damian: *pinching his nose and looking around in pure disgust*
Tim: I want to get rid of my stuff, but all my stuff is really good and I just can’t get rid of it.
Dick: It’s not and you have to.
Jason: Everything you own is trash.
Damian: You’re basically a hoarder, Drake.
Tim: *chugs a mug of coffee and stains his three-day-old shirt further*
Tim: Not true. Everything has meaning. Everything is connected to something else.
Preparing for a Wayne Foundation gala…
Dick: *winking, grinning, and making kissy faces at the mirror* Would you consider us adorable?
Jason: *straightening his bowtie and running his hand through his hair* No. We’re adult men. We’re cute.
At a Wayne Foundation gala…
Dick: Very dapper!
Jason: *trying desperately to loosen his bowtie* Alfred dressed me.
Dick: Like a Ken doll.
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