Tag: dick grayson

Batfamily therapy sessions be like…

Black Canary: You know, I do offer group therapy.

Red Robin: Yeah, okay.

Red Hood: *enters room* What is this? What are you doing?

Nightwing: What? What is that?

Black Canary: With all due respect, you’re talking about bringing guns to an intervention and you’re drinking wine out of a soda can.

Red Hood: *slurps* Yeah.

Nightwing: Oh. You put wine in the soda can?

Red Hood: You didn’t know, did you?

Nightwing: *impressed* That is good.

Red Robin: Ahh, you stole Arsenal’s idea.

Red Hood: Yeah, yeah, yeah. It actually is a pretty good idea.

Red Robin: Well, it’s a good idea. I mean the guy has great ideas.

Red Hood: He is a smart man.

Red Hood: That is not what we’re here about.

“Battle for the Cowl” AU be like…

Tim: You know what, Dick? You shouldn’t be making these decisions anyway, okay? You’re not the decision-making type. As the brains of this family, I should have made this decision.

Dick: Hey, whoa, whoa, I’m sorry. Since when did you become the brains?

Tim: Uhh… I’m sorry? I’ve always been the brains.

Dick: What?! What are you talking about? I thought I was the brains. What the heck am I?

Tim: You’re the looks.

Dick: Well, yeah, of course I’m the looks. But I always thought of myself as the brains and the looks.

Tim: No, you’re the looks, I’m the brains, and Jason is the wildcard.

Red Hood: *glares at criminal*

Red Hood: I’m going to go oil my chainsaw.

Red Robin: What?

Nightwing: *whispering* Jay, we don’t need the chainsaw. Is that what’s in that bag?

Red Hood: Oh, we do. Because drawing a confession out of someone is like doing a beautiful dance. A beautiful dance with a chainsaw.

Red Robin: He makes less and less sense as the days go by.

~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~

Must be all that Lazarus Pit fluid.

At the 90’s “Justice League Awards”…

Flash: To Superman’s mullet, “Flyest Hairstyle”!

* Mixture of applause and groans *

Flash: And Nightwing’s ponytail gets the badge for “Second Flyest Hairstyle"!

Nightwing: Oh. I wasn’t competing for that.

Flash: I’ll say!

If Jason gave a wedding toast at Dick and Barbara’s wedding…

Jason: My brother’s really lame. But Babs’s pretty cool. I guess I kinda see why she would marry him.

Jason: Also, if anyone has seen my red hoodie, I lost it. Thanks.

* Walks off stage *

Damian training with Dick and Jason…

Jason: You see him, you stop him. Knock his head off if you have to.

Dick: Don’t do that.

Jason: Don’t do that. But I give you permission to use excessive force.

Dick: Don’t use excessive force.

Jason: Don’t go overboard. Just stop him… by any means necessary.

Dick: Nope.

Jason: No, just stop him.

Dick’s attempt at brotherly bonding with Jason…

Jason: You made me watch all eight “Harry Potter” movies! I don’t even like “Harry Potter”!

Dick: That’s insane! You love “Harry Potter”! You’ve seen all eight movies!