Trying to cheer up your brother be like…
Dick: When stuff like this gets me down, you know what I like to do?
Jason: *rolls eyes* Sing “Hakuna Matata” like an eight-year-old girl?
Dick: Wrong, smarty-pants. It’s “Everything Is Awesome” from “The Lego Movie”.
Visiting your brother’s Gotham safe house be like…
*toilet flush*
Dick: *comes out of the bathroom*
Dick: *holding a textbook* Since when do you read Social Science?
Jason: *shrugs* I go to the bathroom like everybody else.
Visiting your brother’s Blüdhaven apartment be like…
*toilet flush*
Jason: *comes out of the bathroom*
Jason: Four-ply? If your butt is so delicate, why don’t you just use an angora rabbit?
Dick: For starters, they shed and bite.
Visiting your brother’s Blüdhaven apartment be like…
*toilet flush*
Jason: *comes out of the bathroom*
Jason: Four-ply? If your butt is so delicate, why don’t you just use an angora rabbit?
Dick: For starters, they shed and bite.
When you’re stranded in the middle of wherever and calling your family’s all you’ve got…
Red Robin: What.
Red Hood [on the Comm Link]: Timbo, hey, shut up. I need you to wire me a thousand dollars.
Red Robin: Wow.
Red Hood: Yeah.
Red Robin: No.
Red Hood: Yes!
Red Robin: No!
Red Hood: Oh, for – Then just lemme talk to Babs!
Oracle: Absolutely not. Huh? Because pick any one of an infinite number of reasons! Yeah, okay, hang on…
Spoiler: Mmmmyeah, no, I would, but Cass and I can’t really leave the mall at the moment… But I can transfer you…
Lark: No, I seriously thought you were joking. Yeah, hang on…
Robin: *sinister laughter*
Red Hood: Okay. Okay! Lemme talk to Dick!
Red Hood: Dick?! Dick, listen, I –
Nightwing: Noop.
Red Hood: – need you to –
Nightwing: Noop.
Red Hood: Stop saying “noop”!
Nightwing: Noop, Jason. Noop. And it’s gonna sound like I’m hanging up, but — *static*
When you’re stranded in the middle of wherever and calling your family’s all you’ve got…
Red Robin: What.
Red Hood [on the Comm Link]: Timbo, hey, shut up. I need you to wire me a thousand dollars.
Red Robin: Wow.
Red Hood: Yeah.
Red Robin: No.
Red Hood: Yes!
Red Robin: No!
Red Hood: Oh, for – Then just lemme talk to Babs!
Oracle: Absolutely not. Huh? Because pick any one of an infinite number of reasons! Yeah, okay, hang on…
Spoiler: Mmmmyeah, no, I would, but Cass and I can’t really leave the mall at the moment… But I can transfer you…
Lark: No, I seriously thought you were joking. Yeah, hang on…
Robin: *sinister laughter*
Red Hood: Okay. Okay! Lemme talk to Dick!
Red Hood: Dick?! Dick, listen, I –
Nightwing: Noop.
Red Hood: – need you to –
Nightwing: Noop.
Red Hood: Stop saying “noop”!
Nightwing: Noop, Jason. Noop. And it’s gonna sound like I’m hanging up, but — *static*
Stranded in a swamp…
Red Robin: Why are you so scared of crocodiles?
Red Hood: Gee, I don’t know, Tim. Maybe deep down, I’m afraid of any apex predator that lived through the K-T extinction.
Red Robin: The…?
Red Hood: Physically unchanged for 100 million years, because it’s the perfect killing machine – a half-ton of cold-blooded fury, with a bite force of 20,000 Newtons, and stomach acid so strong it can dissolve bones and hooves. And now we’re surrounded, those snake-eyes are watching from the shadows, waiting for the night –
Nightwing: ♪ Waiting for the night! ♪
Robin: Damn it, Grayson!
Nightwing: ♪ Ooh-hoo! ♪
Red Hood: Keep your voice down!
Nightwing: Why?! Crocodiles don’t have ears!
Red Hood: They absolutely have ears, dickhead!
On an overloaded plane over the Atlantic Ocean…
Nightwing: Hello? Time’s a bit of a factor here!
Red Hood: Tim, for the love of bats, man, jump!
Red Robin: Just throw out the kryptonite!
Red Hood: What?! No! I’m not telling Bruce I lost the original hundred pounds of –
Nightwing and Red Robin: Kilos!
Red Hood: Whatever unit of measurement – of kryptonite! Plus, all this kryptonite! Do you have any idea how pissed he’d be?
Nightwing: Well, the alternative is a belly-landing in a swamp filled with alligators!
Red Hood: No. No, no, no. No. What if, um…
Red Robin: Jason! Alligators or Bruce!
Red Hood: What’s the difference?! They’re both cold-blooded prehistoric monsters!
The Batboys discussing how to save Batman, who’s being held captive by Bane…
Red Hood: Don’t worry about me, I’m –
Nightwing: – not going on another stupid rampage!
Red Hood: Well, maybe a limited rampage.
Nightwing: No!
Red Hood: Modified limited rampage?
Red Robin: *runs hand through face in frustration* Jason.
Robin: *strapping on a variety of weapons and explosives on his body*
Robin: Don’t worry about our methods.
Sometime during Nightwing’s “Brothers in Blood” story arc…
BPD Police Officer: Excuse me, I am effecting an arrest!
Red Hood: Great. While you’re at it, arrest him.
Officer: Who?
Nightwing: *angrily screaming at Red Hood while jumping out of an eighth-story window*
Red Hood: *smirks* If for nothing else, that outfit.
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