Tim: I thought I’d never say this: I’m glad you’re my brother.
Damian: I thought I’d never say this: You smell nice.
Tim: I thought I’d never say this: I’m glad you’re my brother.
Damian: I thought I’d never say this: You smell nice.
Dick: Look, I’ve been screwed by Darwinism. Never needed to evolve listening skills ‘cause my looks are so highly developed.
Tim: Um, that’s not how evolution works.
Dick: Yeah, sure it is! Look, say I had to catch my own food, right? But I only ate really fast animals? My feet would eventually evolve into rockets.
Damian: Grayson, it’s amazing your brain doesn’t evolve into pudding.
Jason: Bad things keep happening to me, like I have bad luck or something.
Damian: Todd, you don’t have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you is because you’re a dumb ass.
Jason: *badly hungover* My head hurts.
Damian: That’s your brain trying to comprehend its own stupidity.
Damian and Jon as teenagers…
Damian: But I am who I am.
Jon: Yeah, but let’s pretend you aren’t who you are and just try to attract a girl.
So you won’t kill, but you’re fine with traumatic brain injuries.
At a Batfamily mission briefing…
Red Robin [about a grounded Robin]: Why is he even in this briefing? He’s not allowed to go on missions!
Batman: Because he always stows away somehow.
Jason trying to convince his brothers that he’s the bad ass in the family…
Jason: You know how I’m kind of a sexy bad boy who rides motorcycles into work and is always breaking the rules in the name of justice?
Dick: I don’t like where this is going.
Jason: I also maybe sometimes bring home case files to work on them after hours, and I might not be that great about returning them.
Dick: *facepalms*
Tim: *rolls eyes*
Damian: Tt.
After Batman reprimands Red Hood for disobeying a direct order during patrol…
Jason: Rules are made to be broken.
Bruce: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.
Dick: Uh, piñatas?
Tim: Glow sticks.
Damian: Karate boards.
Steph: Spaghetti when you have a small pot!
Jason: Rules.
Damian the Teenager…
Dick: Damian, do you know why little boys belittle girls’ pigtails on playgrounds?
Damian: Because they’re so easy to grab, they’re just begging to be pulled.
Dick: Because they like the girls and that’s the only way they know how to get their attention.
Damian: *frowns* What are you saying?
Dick: All of this teasing. This elaborate date. Somewhere deep down, you like Maya. Like, like her like her.