Practicing for his Batfamily reunion stand-up routine…
Tim: What do Damian and a black hole have in common? They both suck.
And he’ll say it with a straight face, too.
Tag: damian wayne
Robin [to Raven]: Just keep in mind, should you ever need a slightly apathetic, tertiary friend, I stand at the ready.
Sleepovers at the Kent Farm be like…
Damian [to Jon]: I’m prone to night terrors, so if I wake up kicking and screaming, don’t panic. Just pin me down and stroke my hair, and I’ll be fine.
And need he mention that if you tell any of this to his older brothers, he’ll plant kryptonite around your property and not tell you where to find them?
Commentating for a remote control-motivated scuffle between your two younger brothers be like…
Jason: Tim’s going all alpha-nerd on Damian’s ass!
Mornings at the Manor…
Jason: *cooking pancakes*
Dick: *doing a headstand and using his feet as hands* Blueberry, Jay!
Alfred: *slapping Dick’s feet away from the kitchen counter* Same, Master Jason.
Bruce: *reading the Gotham Gazette* Hn. Same.
Tim: *pouring a fizzing liquid from one test tube to another* Same.
Damian: -Tt-
Jason: Okay, so the same for everyone, with extra spit on Damian’s.
When your older brother’s starting to spend more time with his girlfriend than he does with you…
Damian [to Dick and Kori]: I’d like to say that I’m very happy that you’re back together, and if I can figure out a way to do so and sound sincere, I will.
Mornings at the Manor…
Tim: *sputters*
Tim: *spits out crushed… wings?*
Tim: You put moths in my coffee?!
Damian: For science.
Who needs TV when you’ve got family?
Dick: *brings in freshly popped popcorn from the kitchen*
Jason: *plumps up two beanbags on the floor*
Dick: *sinks into a beanbag* I love watching Tim and Damian try to work together.
Jason: *munching on popcorn* Yeah, it’s like if Alien and Predator decided to go partners in a Jamba Juice.
When you pour your heart out to your little brother (because Alfred’s on a family-imposed vacation, Nightwing’s on a mission with the Titans, Red Hood’s Red Hood, and Batman’s… a little hard to get a hold of… emotionally)…
Tim: *eyes puffy and nose red from all the sobbing*
Damian:
Damian: Why on earth are you telling me all this, Drake?
Tim: *sighs*
Tim: Because sometimes your movements are so lifelike that I forget you’re not a real boy.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Maybe try Cass… ?
When you park your new muscle bike in Robin’s “play area” in the Batcave…
Damian: Why do you even want this here, Todd? Its size is completely disproportionate to its purpose!
Jason: Considering its purpose was to piss you off, I’d say it’s spot on.
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