Helping your little brother prepare for his first school play be like…
Dick: Dami, we think we can help you with your stage fright.
Damian: Oh, I doubt that. I haven’t figured out a way, and I’m much smarter than all of you.
Tim: Yes, but you’re not smarter than all of us put together.
Damian: I’m sorry. That is what I meant.
When you open your safe house door and find your rain-drenched little brother standing there…
Damian: Todd, I believe you know why I’m here.
Jason: *yawns* I always figured it was to study us, discover our weaknesses, and report back to your alien overlords.
At Red Hood’s safe house…
Damian: *pounds on the door*
Jason: *opens the door*
Damian: Todd, your cell phone was off.
Jason: Because I didn’t want to be disturbed.
Damian: Well, that didn’t work out, now did it?
A very embarrassed Damian Wayne be like: I never admit defeat. However, on an unrelated topic, I’m never getting out of this bed again.
Trying to bond with Robin be like…
Damian: So, what are we watching? “Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants”? Gross.
Steph: Hey, I happen to love this movie.
Damian: Fine, let’s watch it. Maybe all our periods will synchronize. -Tt-
When you find out that Robin’s been giving Spoiler pieces of candy for displaying “good behavior”…
Tim: Damian, you can’t train my girlfriend like some sort of lab rat!
Damian: Actually, as it turns out, I can.
Tim: Well, you shouldn’t.
Why the rest of the Batfamily finds it pointless to argue with Robin…
Damian: You know me to be very intelligent. Don’t you think that if I were wrong, I’d know it?
When you find out that Bruce’s planning to send your youngest brother to Summer Camp…
Dick: *does meditative yoga poses while hanging upside down from the chandelier*
Jason: *lies down on the couch, tucks his arms behind his head, and kicks off his boots*
Tim: *sighs contentedly, takes a little sip of his coffee, and stares dreamily out the window*
Jason: Just imagine… If the brat says yes, we’ll have an entire summer without him.
Dick: We could play outside.
Jason: We could sit on the left side of the couch.
Tim: I could use the bathroom at 8:20!
Dick: Our dreams are very small, aren’t they?
Guess who lost the Robins’ Rock, Paper, Scissors battle to not accompany Damian gift shopping?
Damian [to employee]: If I were to give you this gift basket, based on that action alone, and no other data, infer and describe the hypothetical relationship that exists between us.
Employee: Excuse me?
Damian: Here. *hands gift basket to employee* Now, are we friends, colleagues, lovers? Are you my grandmother?
Employee: I don’t understand what you’re talking about, and you’re making me a little uncomfortable.
Jason: *grabs Damian by the scruff of his neck*
Jason: See, sounds just like you and Raven. We’ll take it.
Jason: *takes the gift basket and drags Damian away*
Teen Titans meetings be like…
Garfield: Put it on the agenda.
Damian: You have to make a motion to put it on the agenda.
Garfield: Oh, I’ll make a motion, alright. But you’re not gonna like it.
Just humor him, Beast Boy. *sigh*
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