Mornings at the Manor…
Damian: *pouring Tim a cup of coffee*
Tim: Is that poison?
Damian: It’s decaffeinated, Drake.
Tim: Oh, are you trying to kill me?
Tag: damian wayne
Robin: *skims a mission dossier*
Robin: -Tt-
Robin: Father would never ask me to do this.
Nightwing: No, you’re right. He wouldn’t. He’d ask me to ask you.
When your brothers want to take you on a camping trip but you’d much rather stay in Gotham City to work on a case…
Dick: *deciding on which bug sprays and skin care products to bring*
Jason: *loading tents, duffel bags, and sleeping bags into the SUV*
Damian: *asking Alfred to pack some pet food just in case they encounter some animals*
Duke: *taking pre-trip photos and videos*
Tim [on Duke’s Snaptchat]: *pale from sleep deprivation and possibly dehydrated from too much caffeine* I don’t understand why you guys can’t go without me and just Photoshop me in.
Like Batman, like middle child.
Things Batman has no time for…
Tim: Bruce, he threw the remote at my head last night!
Damian: “Threw” is strong. I tossed it.
Bruce: *pauses from typing on the Batcomputer*
Bruce: *buries his face in his hands and groans*
Damian: *walks away after insulting Jason*
Jason: He’s a mean kid.
Tim: So, what? You’re mean, too.
Jason: Yes, but not to you!
Tim: Yesterday you told me my head was too big for my neck.
Jason: That was… constructive criticism.
Tim: Well, what am I supposed to do about it, Jay?!
Jason: As a brother, my job is only to point things out.
Dick: When are you gonna take time to be a kid?
Damian: In my mid-20’s, like you.
Dick: I’d ask Bruce to ground you for that, but then I wouldn’t have anyone to play with.
On Damian’s first day at Gotham Academy…
Bruce: *frantic* Alfred, what are you talking about? I put everything he had into his backpack! What did I forget?
Alfred: His backpack, Master Bruce.
Or that one time Bruce went into Dad Mode.
Any member of the Batfamily: This team has compromised me in ways that I never even knew existed!
(Post-sparring session) Mornings at the Manor…
Jason: *examines the bruises on his face using the back of a spoon*
Tim: *grabs an ice pack from the freezer*
Damian: *walks in and heads straight for the analgesics Alfred left on the counter*
Jason: How is that pain on your neck?
Tim: He just walked into the kitchen.
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