Jason: Did you know that fencing goes back to the twelfth century?
Damian: Fencing? Pfft. Do you know what’s even nerdier than fencing? Knowing when it began.
Tim: I don’t think you’re a nerd, Jay –
Jason and Damian: Shut up, dork!
Tag: damian wayne
Planning a surprise birthday party for your youngest (kiddie-party-deprived) brother be like…
Dick: Um, Jason’s not much of a clown fan…
Duke: Has he ever seen a good one?
Jason: *from three rooms away* HAS ANYONE???
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Duke, sweetie, it’s a, um… *clears throat* sensitive topic.
At a “field trip” to S.T.A.R. Labs…
Jason: *poking at the reptilian creature on his head* This feels so weird. What does it eat?
Scientist: Oh, just human brains.
Damian: Well, at least Todd has nothing to worry about.
When asked what his spirit animal was…
Dick: I’m like a mother 🐻 –
Damian: *from the room down the hall* Grayson! Todd’s pissing me off!
Dick: When I hear my cub crying, I have to run to him. Now, if you’ll excuse me – 🏃♂
When asked what his spirit animal was…
Dick: I’m like a mother bear.
Damian: *from afar* Grayson! Todd’s pissing me off!
Dick: When I hear my cub crying, I have to run to him. Now, if you’ll excuse me –
Why Jon’s no longer allowed to hang out at the Manor, part 2…
Clark: What’s that in your hand?
Jon: Jagermeister. Damian’s big brother Jason said it would make girls wanna kiss you.
When asked what life’s been like at Wayne Manor…
Duke: *clears throat* Well, um.
Duke: *dodges a flying helmet while looking cautiously behind his shoulder at a blur of blue, red, yellow, and green uniforms*
Duke: I only understand about twenty percent of what goes on around here.
Mar’i: *cradling a dead bird and sobbing*
Jason: I’ve been through this before, Sweetheart. When your Uncle Damian was fourteen, I was supposed to take care of his parakeet. It got out and flew into a fan. It was like a bloody pillow fight.
Mar’i: DAAAADDDDYYY!!!
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
In which Dick (reluctantly) reconsiders caffeine-addicted Uncle Tim for babysitting.
Things not to say when a ten-year-old assassin’s pissed off and ranting about Red Robin…
Nightwing: You’re so cute with your angry little fists! I just want to put you in my suit pocket!
Dick: Listen to me, Damian. Your whole life has led to this moment.
Dick: All the training, the hours of dedication…
Dick: There’s not a soul alive that can touch you…
Dick: … when it comes to Laser Tag. And, Li’l Bro, you know it. *pats Damian’s armor* Look at me. Be you!
—
And that is how Dick and Damian beat the crap out of Jason and Tim.
And why you never underestimate Dick’s pep talks or Damian’s loyalty to him.
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