Batman [to his Robins]: Some of you may die… but it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.
Kidding! Come on, Bruce loves his kids to Apokolips and back.
Tag: damian wayne
When your best friend has been noticeably more aggressive with criminals during patrol…
Superman: Bruce, I know you’re angry –
Batman: My son is dead. Angry doesn’t begin to cover it.
At the entrance to a mysterious cave…
Superboy: What if there’s an animal in there?
Robin: That’s half the fun.
Jon, sweetie, you’ve met his pets, right?
When Batman grounds your older brother…
Robin: *studying a case on the Batcomputer*
Red Hood: *whistles “Call Me Maybe” while putting his newly cleaned guns away*
Robin: -Tt-
Robin: *resumes working*
Red Hood: *slides across the cave on a chair with wheels, making screeching sounds*
Robin: Hrrrn. *clenching his teeth*
Red Hood: Hey, Little D –
Robin: Todd, if I must babysit you, you become a hindrance and I can’t have that.
And that is why Bruce came home to see Jason gagged and tied to the giant Joker card.
When Damian approaches post-pubescence…
Bruce: I’m just trying to prepare him.
Dick: For what, therapy?
Maybe let your eldest son handle “the birds and the bees” talk, Bruce?
Mornings at the Manor…
Damian: This is a black kale-chia smoothie.
Jason: Why are you drinking that? Did you lose a bet or something?
Tim: Do you have an infected lesion?
In which Damian takes his breakfast elsewhere.
Dick: Look, I had my moments of being out of control growing up as Robin. There, you know, I said it! I just don’t want my brothers to make the same bad mistakes that I made. If Damian never wakes up half-naked on a rooftop in Metropolis, I’ve done my job.
Bruce: Our job.
Dick: Right. I’ve done our job.
Robin: My father’s not afraid of anything! He doesn’t wear a seat belt when he drives! He killed a Predator once!
Green Lantern: Oh, yeah? Was the Predator in the passenger seat?
Though, technically, the Predator committed suicide out of humiliation from being defeated by Batman… Also, I’m not sure about comic book Batman, but LEGO Batman sure doesn’t like wearing one.
Damian: Todd, let it go. I’m faster than you.
Jason: If only there were some way we could settle this once and for all, but how?
Damian: You seriously want to race me? I won the Gotham City Half-Marathon last year!
Jason: Okay, I’m half-scared.
Damian:
Damian: Okay, we do need to do this. I’ll go change.
It’s a trap, Little D.
When you’re all kind of “co-parenting” your youngest brother…
Dick: Damian needs to know that we believe in him. It’s the most important thing. If you tell children they have wings, they will believe they can fly.
Jason: Oh, really? I had a buddy that went to Gothamfest, believed he could fly, didn’t end great. That’s why hotels’ windows don’t open anymore.
And by “buddy”, he meant a drunken Roy.
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