After watching Bruce and Jason have an intense argument at Wayne Manor…
Dick: You’re making me cry with your emotions! *runs to Alfred for comfort*
Tag: bruce wayne
At a therapy session with Black Canary…
Bruce: They don’t hate me because I’m old.
Bruce: They hate me because of my personality.
Dick [whispers to Alfred]: How mad is he?
Bruce [from the Batcave]: I’m as mad as a dad in traffic!
Texting about an upcoming Justice League meeting…
Bruce: No sig oths.
Clark: Just say “significant others”.
Bruce: Maybe you have that kind of time, but I’m on a tight sched.
Diana [to Clark]: I wish I knew what was going on in Bruce’s head. He’s like a… grumpy mystery.
When Batman (inexplicably) asks Hellblazer to watch over his sons while he’s away on a mission…
Nightwing: *comes in through the front door of the Manor*
Hellblazer: Ah, the Golden Boy has returned. Release the doves!
Nightwing: Hi, Mr. Constantine.
Red Hood: *breaks a window in the foyer and climbs in*
Hellblazer: And you must be the second Robin. I have been thoroughly briefed on you and if you do one thing wrong, I’m going to go medieval on your arse.
While Thomas Wayne, the Flashpoint Batman, is visiting his son Bruce, the current Batman…
* Jason and Tim are both clutching a live grenade with the pin missing *
Dick: Grandpa, we have to call the League!
Thomas: No! No Justice League! *grabs and throws away Dick’s earpiece*
Thomas: There’s no reason to panic.
Damian Yes, there is! You gave Todd a live grenade and he’s a total idiot!
Jason: He’s right, I am!
While Thomas Wayne, the Flashpoint Batman, is visiting his son Bruce, the current Batman…
Jason: Grandpa, I’m not going to hit you!
Jason:
Jason: *sighs* No grandkid should ever have to say that.
Expectation vs. Reality…
[Expectation] Dick: Bruce, I know what you’re going to say, and believe me, I totally agree with you. There is no excuse for what I did. It was idiotic, immature, totally reckless, and I’m really sorry. I’m just hoping against hope that you will give me another chance, which I admit I don’t deserve. If you could just find it in your heart to forgive me, I know I could earn your trust back.
[Reality] Jason: It’s not like it was even the Batmobile!
At the annual Justice League Halloween party…
Superman: Bruce, are you staying for the party?
Batman: If I stay, there can be no party. I must be out there in the night, staying vigilant. Wherever a party needs to be saved, I’m there. Wherever there are masks, wherever there’s tomfoolery and joy, I’m there. But sometimes I’m not because I’m out in the night, staying vigilant. Watching. Lurking. Running. Jumping. Hurtling. Sleeping. No, I can’t sleep. You sleep. I’m awake. I don’t sleep. I don’t blink. Am I bird? No. I’m a bat. I am Batman. Or am I? Yes, I am Batman.
Batman: Happy Halloween. *smoke bomb*
It was a simple question, Bruce.
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