When you’re trying to speak seriously to your family but one of your sons just won’t give you a break…
Bruce: I need to get something off my chest.
Jason: Is it your shirt? Please say no.
Tag: bruce wayne
Batman’s secret to enjoying peace and quiet…
Bruce: When you look annoyed all the time, people think that you’re busy.
How’s Batman so awesome at being dramatic? Practice makes perfect…
Batman: You’ve been avoiding me, Clark.
Superman: *standing behind him* How do you do that without turning around?
Batman: To be honest, the first couple of people I did that to were not you, but… here we are.
Status report to Batman regarding the Underbelly mission…
Red Hood: We came. We saw –
Arsenal: We kicked its ass!
Every time Bruce calls him “son”…
Jason: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Roy: Batman’s probably wondering where you are.
Jason: Nah… I mean, I’ve already died, so what other kind of shenanigans could I get into?
When Superman asks him why he’s being so difficult…
Batman: Some people play hard to get. I play hard to want.
Mission update with Batman…
Red Hood [about Oracle]: Yeah, I called her up. She gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something. I don’t know, I wasn’t really paying attention.
When you invite Batman to the annual Justice League Holiday Party at the Watchtower…
Batman: The nerve of those rookies. Inviting me up there, and on such short notice.
Batman: Even if I wanted to go, my schedule wouldn’t allow it.
Batman: Four o’clock, wallow in self pity; 4:30, stare into the abyss; 5:00, solve world hunger, tell no one. 5:30, jazzercize. 6:30, dinner with me. I can’t cancel that again.
Batman: 7:00, wrestle with my self-loathing; I’m booked. Of course, if I bump the loathing to 9 I could still be done in time to lay in bed, stare at the ceiling, and slip slowly into madness.
Batman: But what would I wear?
Alfred: *rolls his eyes*
Alfred: *leaves to draw Bruce a bath*
Rationalizing his actions to Batman be like…
Jason: Me? I’m dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly, it’s the honest ones you have to watch out for. You never can predict if they’re going to do something incredibly stupid.
Bruce: *narrows eyes into slits*
–
Consistency is key, huh, Jay?
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