When your dad’s extremely protective of your sister…
Batman [to Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, and Robin, about Black Bat]: Guard her with your life. That’s not hyperbole!
Tag: bruce wayne
When your boyfriend starts regressing…
Dick: I just had a major epiphany. You know my lease is almost up? Right, well, I’ve been thinking, “Dick, it’s time you moved on in your life as a man”. It’s not just about me anymore.
Barbara: I think that’s a very mature thought, Mr. Grayson.
Dick: So you know what I’m gonna do? I am gonna move in with Bruce.
Batman: Where the heck are we?
Flash: When the heck are we?
Batman trying to date be like…
Hal: Wow, you’re like a robot.
Bruce: That’s the comment someone made on my eHarmony profile, so I guess it must be true.
Having an overbearing son be like…
Bruce: I thought I told you to stop reading my e-mails.
Damian: Well, I thought I told you to stop keeping secrets!
On what happened to the Batcave after “Final Crisis”…
Clark [to Bruce]: After you disappeared, it was closed for sentimental reasons. And also asbestos reasons.
Trying his best to be supportive of his outlaw son…
Bruce [to Jason]: As long as you’re happy… I’m unsettled.
Making Batfamily home videos…
Jason: Dick, I have to make some adjustments to my film. You’ll play my father.
Dick: I don’t want to be your father.
Jason: Perfect! You already know the lines.
And somewhere in the Manor, Bruce chokes on his coffee.
Why you don’t sass Batman – or any of his children – during meetings…
Guy [about Cass]: She shouldn’t be in here.
Bruce: She’s old enough. I told her to stay.
Guy: She’s a girl.
Bruce: And girls grow up to be women who change boys’ diapers.
When your best friend comes to visit you at Wayne Manor…
Tim: You okay?
Conner: Just another life-threatening conversation with your dad.
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