Justice League meetings be like…
Green Lantern: Where’s Bats?
Superman: He couldn’t make it.
Green Lantern: Good.
In Nathan Fillion’s voice, too.
Tag: bruce wayne
Bruce and Clark’s friendship, a summary…
Bruce: You want me to outlive you? That’s… very thoughtful.
What civilians think Gotham City villains fight about: Power. Money. Territory. Batman.
What Gotham City villains actually fight about:
The Riddler [to Penguin]: Oh, yeah? Well, I was featured in the GCPD calendar!
Batman urban legends be like…
Batman: *working on the Watchtower computer*
GL Jessica: Do you think I should go talk to him?
GL Simon: No! He will eat you alive.
Batman: *comes home, tattered and bruised, to find the Batcomputer de-powered, his case files securely locked away (somewhere), and dinner in plain view with the words “Eat” legibly written in script on a Post-it beside it*
Batman: …
Dick, Jason, Tim, and Damian: The butler did it!
Why Red Hood still gets grounded from patrolling…
Jason [to Bruce]: *gesturing excitedly to a passed-out Tim slobbering all over the Batcomputer keyboard* This’ll be his first hangover. This is a milestone, Bruce!
“Batman v Superman”, a summary…
Batman: I thought you were the bad guy.
Superman: If I were the bad guy, you would be dead by now.
Batman: So, we can narrow our suspects down to rich men with good taste.
Superman: Are you saying you’re a suspect?
Jason [to Dick, about Bruce]: Don’t you see? He’s feeding you enough truth so it’s easier to swallow the lies!
Bruce [to Selina]: You know what I thought when I first met you? You were a mystery I was never going to solve.
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