When you’re made painfully aware of your own mortality in the middle of intergalactic warfare (yet again)…
Batman: *taking down parademons* Take care of my family, okay?
Green Lantern: *trying to maintain a forcefield against Omega Beams* Stop talking like that! I’m not letting you die!
Batman: Humor me.
Green Lantern: Oh. I’m supposed to lie? Uh… Sure. They’ll be fine, I…
Batman: Just – just stop… talking. *runs into the boom-tube*
Justice League membership deliberations…
Green Arrow [to Batman]: So, you know you can’t trust them, right? You know Red Hood and Arsenal are absurdly, irrationally, turbulently codependent on each other, right?
When you’re painfully aware that your best friend is only human…
Superman: *hovering* Why you?
Batman: *perched on a gargoyle, looking through a telescopic sight* Why me what?
Superman: Why do you have to hunt all these dangerous criminals in Gotham? Why not let someone else do it?
Batman: I can’t find anybody else that crazy.
Batman: *studying Kryptonian morphology* Hn. It’s no wonder none of the tests worked. You’re not shapeshifters. You’re aliens.
Superman: You know, I find that term racist.
When you’re getting frustrated over a case and your super best friend drops by…
Batman: *typing furiously on the Batcomputer*
Superman: … I can blow dry it. I can put gel on it. It doesn’t matter. I still wind up with this little cowlicky thing on the middle part of my head. It’s so annoying. Does it bug you?
Batman: You bug me.
Hitching a ride with your father figure be like…
Batman: Jason, there is no smoking in the Batmobile.
Red Hood: In that case, I have to go to the bathroom.
Jason: Hey, so you’re planning a surprise birthday party for the old Bat? I think he’s onto you.
Dick: Yeah, so please, please, please don’t say anything to Bruce.
Jason: You want me to lie to him?
Dick: Is that a problem?
Jason: Nah.
Batman [to Robin]: Face your fear. You have a fear of heights, you go to the top of the building. You’re afraid of bugs, get a bug.
Relax, Bruce. He’s, like, a kid.
When Batman seems a little distracted while on a stake-out…
Red Hood: What’s the matter, Bruce? You nervous about your speech?
Batman: No.
Batman: …
Batman: You wanna hear it?
Red Hood: Am I in it?
Batman: Yes. Right after I thank Gotham’s most powerful citizens for giving money to the museum, I sing a song about the wonder that is you.
Boy wonder, Bruce. Get it right.
Clark: You know what, I’ll be gone by the time you get home from your board meeting later. *gets out and slams the Batcave door*
Bruce: *mouthing* Thank you.
Clark: I heard that!
Damn his super hearing.
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