When your adoptive father rattles on about the missions you’ve “botched”…
Red Hood [to Batman]: Oh, please. Some of my best work comes from my worst hangovers.
Tag: bruce wayne
Red Robin: I’m just sad, Bruce.
Batman: I’m… sad, too, son.
Red Robin: You wanna be sad together?
Simon: *in civilian clothes, whistling while making tacos in the kitchen*
Batman: *perched on the window sill* Hello, Baz.
Simon: Jess and Hal are in the living room. One girlish scream from me and they go into Lantern mode.
Which is why you take your ring with you at all times. You never know when a creepy colleague will show up at your apartment unannounced.
Rescuing your best friend from the Phantom Zone be like…
Superman: *hugs Batman* You came for me, Bruce!
Batman: Hrrn.
Superman: … Or, should I say “Robot”?
Batman: Why? Because I’m not crying?
Superman: Bruce, maybe you don’t have enough RAM to understand this, but there is such thing as brotherly love.
A little nod to Clark calling Bruce his brother in canon recently. *winks*
When asked about his strategies in mentoring Robin…
Batman: I always talk about being a great man. Maybe the way to do that isn’t by being the biggest businessman in Gotham City. It’s by –
Nightwing: *hanging upside down from the ceiling* Being the best brother in Gotham City.
Lucius: *pulls cover to unveil the latest Batmobile*
Lucius: Now, with this model, you might get some stares.
Bruce: I’m used to it.
The Flash [about Batman]: Did he look… betrayed to you?
Green Lantern: He kind of always looks that way.
Batman: Alfred, I’m going to need a pair of pants brought to the landing site.
Alfred [on the Comm Link]: I shall have pants waiting for you, Master Bruce.
Green Lantern: He’s kidding, right?
Superman: No, he’s not.
Because, contrary to popular belief, Batman does not work alone. (Who am I kidding? Everybody knows that.)
Plus, he’s got a charity gala to attend after beating up a bunch of aliens, so…
Nightwing: *on the Comm Link* Tim’s going to be okay, Bruce. He’s only stunned.
Nightwing: *mutes Comm Link* You didn’t kill him, right?
Robin: Of course not.
Nightwing: *unmutes Comm Link* He’s only stunned.
When super families hang out…
Clark: *holding a bullet*
Jon: *glaring with glowing red eyes*
Jason: *clears throat*
Jason: We don’t mean your family any harm.
Tim: Well, you did just shoot at his dad.
Jason: Aside from shooting your dad, we don’t mean your family any harm.
Bruce: *groans*
To be fair, Jason just wanted to see if the rumors were true.
Damian’s not gonna be too happy when he finds out about this, though. Especially when Jon says that he’s no longer in the mood to go on patrol with him.
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