Batman: *reads article in Gotham Gazette about Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, and Robin, and around 5 million dollars-worth of property damage*
Batman: Hrrrn.
Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, and Robin: …
Batman:
Batman: *sighs*
Batman: *takes out check book*
Batman: I prefer you screw up while not wearing your uniforms.
When you’re bored and trying to stay awake during one of Batman’s “lectures”…
Red Hood: *points at Batman, whispering* Pew, pew! Pew!
Red Hood: *blows imaginary smoke off finger guns, then tucks them into imaginary holsters*
Red Hood: I’m so good it’s stupid. I’m stupid good.
Red Robin: *overhears him from behind*
Red Robin: *with rings around drooping eyelids, drinking his fifteenth cup of coffee for the day* No. Just stupid.
When you’re bored and trying to stay awake during one of Batman’s “lectures”…
Red Hood: *points at Batman, whispering* Pew, pew! Pew!
Red Hood: *blows imaginary smoke off finger guns, then tucks them into imaginary holsters*
Red Hood: I’m so good it’s stupid. I’m stupid good.
Nightwing: You are kicking me out and replacing me at the same time!?
Yes, Richard. That is how a Batdad rolls. (Kidding! Bruce loves his children.)
Bruce [to his children]: You are very important to me. And I don’t always do the best job telling you that.
From somewhere at the back of the Batcave…
Alfred: *clears throat loudly*
Interrogating be like…
Nightwing: You’re only going to scare him.
Batman: Pain is scary.
Criminal: *gulps*
Don’t even get me started on Batman’s youngest son.
Interrogating be like…
Nightwing: You’re only going to scare him.
Batman: Pain is scary.
Criminal: *gulps*
When Green Lantern asks why it’s taking the League too long to solve a case…
Batman: Jordan, your mouth is talking. You might wanna look to that.
Batman: What did I say about barging into my cave?
Superman: That it was impulsive and intrusive?
Batman: Yes, precisely. Only the exact phrase I used was, “Don’t”.
Batman: Jordan, you’re supposed to make this team look respectable.
Green Lantern: *saluting* Yes, sir, Captain Tight Pants!
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