When your fiancés friends weigh in on your wedding plans…
Selina [to Hal]: I am not getting married in space.
Have you sent out your save-the-dates yet? (Or is it still too early with the threat of – well, ANYTHING in the Multiverse possibly ruining your wedding plans looming?) @Bruce Wayne @Selina Kyle
A toast with Timothy Drake-Wayne…
Tim: To happiness!
Tim: Or, as I like to call it, sadness in its early stages.
The bottle of pinot noir? $20.
The ensuing awkward silence? Priceless.
Why you don’t ask your heavily sleep-deprived, just-returned-from-another-dimension-after-jumping-off-a-building son to make a toast at your wedding. @Bruce Wayne @Selina Kyle
When you’re a salty wedding guest…
At Bruce and Selina’s wedding reception…
Usherette: So, are you a friend of the bride or the groom?
Jason: Well, the groom is my father, so… the bride.
So, now that Batman #33 (2017) is out, are we getting a panel or two like this soon?
Standing up for your younger brother be like…
Red Hood: Just a teenager, Bruce? Well, that “teenager” *points at Red Robin* saved my life.
Red Hood: Granted, it was in a video game…
Fighting with your best friend be like…
Superman [to Wonder Woman]: This awkward silence has been going on for days! Granted, Bruce looks amazing when he broods, but this has got to stop!
Bruce: I scolded Damian today, so according to – *reads smudged writing on his palm* — “The Robin Bylaws”, I now have to grant him three wishes.
Alfred: …
Parenting. Comes easy, it does not.
Dick drafted the original bylaws, by the way. Jason, Tim, and Damian merely perfected them.
Why Batman’s a superhero of few words…
Batman: *stares at villain/colleague/best friend/family member*
Batman: Hn. You’re not worth the monologue.
Overheard from within the Manor game room at 4:15 AM…
Jason [to Tim]: Once you reach Level 16, you can see the color blurple.
Or the moment Bruce realized that his sons were never going to sleep. (They really do take after him.)
Damian: You know where Batman was for most of my birthdays? A little place that rhymes with “not there”.
Jon: …. Times Square?
Damian: -Tt-
Damian: *walks away*
Green Lantern: Wow, you’re like a robot.
Batman: That’s the comment someone made on my eHarmony profile. So, I guess it must be true.
In which a slack-jawed Hal became speechless and dropped his beer construct. (To this day, he isn’t sure if their conversation was real.)
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