Practicing for his Batfamily reunion stand-up routine…
Tim: What do Damian and a black hole have in common? They both suck.
And he’ll say it with a straight face, too.
Tag: big brother of the year
When your master hacker of a brother sets up the fastest Wi-Fi ever in his bedroom…
Jason: Hey, Timbo, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Tim: Yes, it’s “Jason, get your own Wi-Fi”. No spaces.
Commentating for a remote control-motivated scuffle between your two younger brothers be like…
Jason: Tim’s going all alpha-nerd on Damian’s ass!
Nightwing: *looking at his motorcycle’s side mirror*
Nightwing [on the Comm Link]: Radio contact is sufficient, Hood. No need to extend your middle finger.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Jaaay.
On “The Wayne Family TV Special”…
Interviewer: *asks about the family dynamic*
Jason: It’s what we do. We give each other a hard time.
Jason: Hey, Timmy! You look like a praying mantis.
Camera: *pans to Tim*
Tim: *typing on his laptop, with sunken red eyes and coffee-stained clothes*
Tim: *deadpan* That was very hurtful.
Why Bruce agreed to this, perhaps we’ll never know.
Who needs TV when you’ve got family?
Dick: *brings in freshly popped popcorn from the kitchen*
Jason: *plumps up two beanbags on the floor*
Dick: *sinks into a beanbag* I love watching Tim and Damian try to work together.
Jason: *munching on popcorn* Yeah, it’s like if Alien and Predator decided to go partners in a Jamba Juice.
When you park your new muscle bike in Robin’s “play area” in the Batcave…
Damian: Why do you even want this here, Todd? Its size is completely disproportionate to its purpose!
Jason: Considering its purpose was to piss you off, I’d say it’s spot on.
Helping your little brother prepare for his first school play be like…
Dick: Dami, we think we can help you with your stage fright.
Damian: Oh, I doubt that. I haven’t figured out a way, and I’m much smarter than all of you.
Tim: Yes, but you’re not smarter than all of us put together.
Damian: I’m sorry. That is what I meant.
When you open your safe house door and find your rain-drenched little brother standing there…
Damian: Todd, I believe you know why I’m here.
Jason: *yawns* I always figured it was to study us, discover our weaknesses, and report back to your alien overlords.
At Red Hood’s safe house…
Damian: *pounds on the door*
Jason: *opens the door*
Damian: Todd, your cell phone was off.
Jason: Because I didn’t want to be disturbed.
Damian: Well, that didn’t work out, now did it?
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