When your older brother crashes at your Nest after patrol…
Tim: *typing up a report on a case at 3 AM*
Dick: *comes out of the bedroom* I can’t sleep.
Tim: *sighs* What do you want me to about it?
Dick: *yawns* Sometimes it helps if you tickle my back and tell me I’m pretty.
Discovering a hidden room in Wayne Manor be like…
Tim: What if Bruce has hidden cameras in here?
Jason: Trust me, if he had hidden cameras, I’d have been disowned a long time ago.
When your younger brother becomes the CEO of Batman, Inc…
Tim: Jason… Look… I’m hoping…
Jason: I would rather eat that piece of chewed up gum on the floor.
Tim: I haven’t even asked you to do anything –
Jason: You bossing me around is a crime against nature.
Tim: Jay, you’re being ridiculous…
Jason: *hisses*
Dick: When are you gonna take time to be a kid?
Damian: In my mid-20’s, like you.
Dick: I’d ask Bruce to ground you for that, but then I wouldn’t have anyone to play with.
Jason: You think when we have kids of our own, we’re gonna mess them up? You ever think about that?
Jason: Dick.
Dick: Huh? Oh, sorry. I was just thinking about what kids of yours would be like.
Jason: Oh, what? Just attractive and intelligent, and just overall awesome.
Dick: So, they’ll take after your wife.
Jason [about Steph]: Look, if you like her, then ask her out.
Tim: Did she tell you to tell me that?
Jason: Yes, by the giant coin, before the family meeting.
And the “Big Brother of the Year” Award goes to…
Jason: Don’t beat yourself up, Timmy. That’s my job.
When you realize that there are more important things in life than celebrating your brand new safe house (such as making sure your brother gets some help)…
Tim: I just wanted to bring you and Roy some macaroons as a safe house-warming gift.
Jason: Thank you very much, Timbo. Where are the, um, macaroons?
Tim: I ate them on my motorcycle while sobbing at a stoplight.
When you just want your brother out of a cave and under some sunlight for once…
Jason: Hey, Timbo! How about we get some sushi from that new place across the Daily Planet?
Tim: That won’t fill the void in me.
But at least you’ll have something other than caffeine running through your system, Timmy.
Tim: *sobbing in front of the Batcomputer*
Dick: It’s obvious what we have to do.
Jason: Yeah. Teach him to cry in the shower like a normal person.
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