Mar’i: *cradling a dead bird and sobbing*
Jason: I’ve been through this before, Sweetheart. When your Uncle Damian was fourteen, I was supposed to take care of his parakeet. It got out and flew into a fan. It was like a bloody pillow fight.
Mar’i: DAAAADDDDYYY!!!
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
In which Dick (reluctantly) reconsiders caffeine-addicted Uncle Tim for babysitting.
Giving your brother a tour of your new hometown be like…
Nightwing: This part of Blüdhaven might be very rough, but, Jay, the people here are the best!
Red Hood: *staring at his motorcycle* I’m pretty sure I had wheels when I parked here.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Ha! Serves you right, Jason Todd. Serves you right.
Things not to say when a ten-year-old assassin’s pissed off and ranting about Red Robin…
Nightwing: You’re so cute with your angry little fists! I just want to put you in my suit pocket!
Dick: Listen to me, Damian. Your whole life has led to this moment.
Dick: All the training, the hours of dedication…
Dick: There’s not a soul alive that can touch you…
Dick: … when it comes to Laser Tag. And, Li’l Bro, you know it. *pats Damian’s armor* Look at me. Be you!
—
And that is how Dick and Damian beat the crap out of Jason and Tim.
And why you never underestimate Dick’s pep talks or Damian’s loyalty to him.
When your little brother obsessively washes his mouth out after accidentally using your toothbrush…
Jason: You’re worried about germs? I’ve seen you kiss your cow on the mouth.
Dick: Listen to me, Damian. Your whole life has led to this moment.
Dick: All the training, the hours of dedication…
Dick: There’s not a soul alive that can touch you…
Dick: … when it comes to Laser Tag. And, Li’l Bro, you know it. *pats Damian’s armor* Look at me. Be you!
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
And that is how Dick and Damian impossibly beat the crap out of Jason and Tim.
Red Robin: Jason, that was a Stop sign!
Red Hood: I’ll stop twice on the way back.
The rogues are getting away, Timmy. We’ll deal with traffic rules later.
Dick: Damian! When something awful happens, you’re going to be mine!
Bruce: It really is an “if” situation –
Dick: All mine!
Okay, we know you love your little brother like a son, but this is just borderline creepy, Richard.
Damian: I did cartwheels.
Dick: Without me?
Because Damian’s still Grayson’s widdle baby.
Dick: For bat’s sake, Damian. Change out of those wingtips. You’re a kid, not President Nixon on the beach!
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