Game Night At The Watch Tower

[Playing Scrabble]
Green Lantern: I will put my “A” down to make “A”
The Flash: I will add to your “A” to make “AT”
Superman: I will add onto your “AT” to make “RAT”
Batman: I will add onto your “RAT” to make “BIOSTRATIGRAPHIC”
Green Lantern: [flips the board]

Patrol gone awry…

Robin: *angrily stomps into the Batcave*

Red Robin: *wearily takes off his combat boots*

Red Hood: *has a leather jacket tug-of-war with Ace the Bathound*

Nightwing: So… What happened out there?

Robin: Chalk that one up to Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Douche over there.

Nightwing: Who’re they?

Red Robin and Robin: They’re both Jason.

Stakeout…

Red Hood: *watching Black Mask’s movements through binoculars*

Red Robin: Jay, do you like being alone with me right now?

Red Hood: *adjusting his riflescope* Nah. This is horrifying.

Red Robin: I don’t like being alone with me either.

In which Jason immediately packs up their gear and takes his brother to a bar instead. (Granted, Tim won’t drink, but they can at least talk things out?)

Batman: You don’t need a mom or dad because you have my number and you can call me anytime –

Superman: *drags Batman away from the black-haired, blue-eyed boy and apologetically takes back the calling card he’d handed to the 8-year-old*

Dick: *knocks on Damian’s bedroom door*

Dick: Little D, hey, I just came up to see what you were doing.

Dick: And maybe stop you.

Trying to get your adoptive father’s attention be like…

Red Hood [to Nightwing]: How about this? I throw a corpse dressed like me off the roof…

Then you might as well just throw yourself off the roof, Jay. Get it?

“Wacky” Wayne Family photoshoots be like…

Damian: Do more stupid faces, Drake!

Tim: Which one? I have a lot of stupid faces.

Hitching a ride with Batman to a mission be like…

Red Hood: I’m upset. My bladder’s full. There’s no telling what I might do right now… all over the inside of your precious little Batmobile.

When asked about his Robin training regime…

Batman: I leave him all the tools he needs. It’s “do or die”. If he chooses correctly, he’ll conquer the hornets.

Superman: And if he doesn’t?

Batman: He’ll die.

Superman: I… beg your pardon?

Batman: When did the phrase “do or die” become so corrupted, Clark?

If you ever wondered why Dick, Jason, Tim, and Damian were so impossibly skilled. (May have been a cakewalk for Damian, though.)

“Batman v Superman”…

Batman: I’m going to own your farm by the time this is over.

~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~

Your heat vision’s nothing to his billions of dollars, Clark.