chocoh0lic0201

Tim: What exactly are you doing?

Damian: I’m stretching. Getting limber.

Tim: Why are you doing that?

Damian: So I won’t pull a muscle when I break your bones.

Dami, sweetie, that’s not nice.

Jason: So, uh… Bonfire with Artemis, huh?

Dick: *grins* Just telling her stories about your Robin days. How’re things between you guys?

Jason: They’re good. Good, good, good. Solid… Why, did she say something?

Dick: No. It’s just… She’s a beautiful woman fighting crime with you. I was afraid you’d let the lines get blurred and fall for her.

Jason: *scoffs* What, me, fall for Artemis? Please.

Artemis: *enters wearing a floral dress and twirls*

Artemis: Hey, boys. So, how do I look?

Jason: Good. Yeah, yeah. Real good. Red’s not really my color, so… *mumbles* Forgot my jacket… Or salmon, or whatever that is. *walks out of trailer*

Red’s not really your color? *smirks* (That “Red Hood and the Outlaws” annual, though.)

Damian: Are you done feeling sorry for yourself?

Tim: Personally, I’d like another ten to fifteen minutes of really pathetic self-indulgence.

Damian: -Tt-

It was rhetorical, Timmy.

When your little brother reconfigures the newly installed, magnetic, handprint-activated steel doors at the Manor…

Jason: *trapped between the door and the wall*

Jason: Damian? Open the door, little buddy.

Tim: Open it, Damian.

Damian: -Tt-

Damian: *opens the outer door*

Jason: Okay. Nice, kid. Now, coud you open the one that’s currently chopping me in half?

At the Justice League Awards…

Superman: … And the “Young Justice Mentor of the Year” is… *opens envelope*

Wonder Woman: Batman!

Crowd: *mixture of boos and cheers*

Batman: *goes to the podium*

Batman: Hn. This is not my fault. I tried to be a jerk.

When you fall asleep during a mission briefing at the Watchtower and need to catch up…

Kid Flash: *nudges Kyle*

Green Lantern: *nudges Wally*

Batman: *working on a case at the mainframe computer*

Kid Flash: *clears throat*

Green Lantern: Can I ask a follow-up question, Mr. Batman, Sir?

Batman: You’re about to leave through that window.

Green Lantern: I rescind my follow-up question.

Visiting Wayne Manor and encountering one of Batman’s sons be like…

Clark: Good morning, Jason. Have you seen Bruce?

Jason: Maybe.

Clark: Sooo… Is he around?

Jason: *shrugs* Could be.

Clark: Could you… find him for me?

Jason: Yeah, sure, I could. But wouldn’t it be more fulfilling for you if you did it yourself?

I guess you could just save yourself the frustration and use your X-ray vision, Clark… if the walls weren’t lined with lead.

Batman: *passes by*

Kid Flash: Yep, your dad scares me.

Nightwing: Well, that happens when you bottle up your feelings like that. You wake up one day and you’re a seething mass of pain.

Things you’d expect by now given the Robins’ lifestyle…

Red Robin: *cradling a bleeding foot*

Nightwing: You’re gonna be okay, Tim. A lot of people get by with nine toes.

Red Hood: I’m getting by fine with eight.

Superboy: *in kryptonite-lined handcuffs* Damian, I’m handcuffed!

Robin: Relax, Kent. Handcuffs are a cinch.

Superboy: Really?

Robin: Yeah. There’s a bone in your thumb. Tiny bone. Really easy to break. What you’re gonna want to do is you’re gonna want to apply torsional pressure to it until it snaps.

Superboy: I’m not gonna break my bone!

Robin: Well, in that case, you are screwed.