Batman: Alfred, I’m going to need a pair of pants brought to the landing site.
Alfred [on the Comm Link]: I shall have pants waiting for you, Master Bruce.
Green Lantern: He’s kidding, right?
Superman: No, he’s not.
Because, contrary to popular belief, Batman does not work alone. (Who am I kidding? Everybody knows that.)
Plus, he’s got a charity gala to attend after beating up a bunch of aliens, so…
Nightwing: *on the Comm Link* Tim’s going to be okay, Bruce. He’s only stunned.
Nightwing: *mutes Comm Link* You didn’t kill him, right?
Robin: Of course not.
Nightwing: *unmutes Comm Link* He’s only stunned.
When super families hang out…
Clark: *holding a bullet*
Jon: *glaring with glowing red eyes*
Jason: *clears throat*
Jason: We don’t mean your family any harm.
Tim: Well, you did just shoot at his dad.
Jason: Aside from shooting your dad, we don’t mean your family any harm.
Bruce: *groans*
To be fair, Jason just wanted to see if the rumors were true.
Damian’s not gonna be too happy when he finds out about this, though. Especially when Jon says that he’s no longer in the mood to go on patrol with him.
Falling out with your best friend be like…
Jason: You can tell me, y’know. We never talked about it. What did Roy say about me?
Dick: It’s nothing too terrible…
Jason: You can tell me.
Dick: It wasn’t that bad…
Jason: Just be honest.
Dick:
Dick: He once called you an “ass***e” forty-six times in one sitting.
Jason: Wow.
Dick: Yeah, the people at the next table complained.
When you’re out of ammo…
Arsenal: Alright, he’s got a bazooka. We have something better.
Red Hood: What, Roy?
Arsenal: Seatbelts. *floors the gas pedal*
Batman: Well, done, Wallace.
The Flash: Sir, since I pulled that off, can I please wear shorts to work?
Batman: I’ve already said no.
Teaching a super-powered, cloned Kryptonian about your world be like…
Watching TV…
Red Hood: That is, uh, Kermit the Frog.
Bizarro: Me am recognize the species.
Red Hood: It’s an amphibious life form from Earth.
Bizarro: Someone Red Him not know?
Red Hood: No, no. He’s just a leader I admire. Always keeps his cool in a crisis. Inspires greatness in his people.
justiceleague: Check out the new trailer and see #JusticeLeague in theaters November 17.
Don’t need to tell me once. Don’t even need to tell me AT ALL.
Robin: You and what army, Todd?
Red Hood: Uh, that would be me and my fists.
Reviewing case files at the Batcave…
Robin: Credit card charges show mostly leather jackets, classic novels. Phone records indicate only one female caller in the last six months: a teammate.
Red Hood: I feel so sorry for this guy. He seems so alone.
Robin: Oh, whoops. That’s your old file, Todd.
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