Superman [to Batman]: Bruce, you are the bravest, most selfless man I have ever met. And as much as I hate seeing you here in pain and suffering, I also know this is who you genuinely are.
Author: chocoh0lic0201
Alfred: The more kids the merrier.
Bruce: Be careful what you say, Alfred. You might give me ideas.
And the rest, as they say, is history.
Batman: *badly bruised, pinned to the ground, and trying to push Solomon Grundy off himself*
Batman: Superman.
Superman: *floating in air*
Batman: What are you doing here?
Superman: *grabs the zombie by the collar, lifts him up until he’s five feet off the ground and glares at him with glowing red eyes*
Superman: Isn’t it obvious? I’m your posse.
True love.
At the entrance to a mysterious cave…
Superboy: What if there’s an animal in there?
Robin: That’s half the fun.
Jon, sweetie, you’ve met his pets, right?
Nightwing: I’m going to hug you.
Batman: Thank you for the warning.
When Batman grounds your older brother…
Robin: *studying a case on the Batcomputer*
Red Hood: *whistles “Call Me Maybe” while putting his newly cleaned guns away*
Robin: -Tt-
Robin: *resumes working*
Red Hood: *slides across the cave on a chair with wheels, making screeching sounds*
Robin: Hrrrn. *clenching his teeth*
Red Hood: Hey, Little D –
Robin: Todd, if I must babysit you, you become a hindrance and I can’t have that.
And that is why Bruce came home to see Jason gagged and tied to the giant Joker card.
When Damian approaches post-pubescence…
Bruce: I’m just trying to prepare him.
Dick: For what, therapy?
Maybe let your eldest son handle “the birds and the bees” talk, Bruce?
Mission briefing…
Red Robin: Understood?
Nightwing: *double thumbs up*
Robin: *salutes*
Red Hood: *turns off Spotify streaming in his helmet*
Red Hood: Okay, I’m just nodding here and pretending like I have some idea of what you’re talking about.
The Justice League versus…
Braniac: I would prefer to only speak with Batman. Communicating with someone of lesser intellect is difficult for me.
Mornings at the Manor…
Damian: This is a black kale-chia smoothie.
Jason: Why are you drinking that? Did you lose a bet or something?
Tim: Do you have an infected lesion?
In which Damian takes his breakfast elsewhere.
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