Batman: My life expectancy is at 90 years. My life is more than a third over.
Wonder Woman: Want to trade?
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Get out of here with your facts, Bruce. You could outlive a character from the Fifth Dimension.
Author: chocoh0lic0201
At the Annual Justice League Family Day…
The Batfamily: *enter the picnic area*
Hal [to Barry]: A horde. That’s the minimum. They don’t come in anything less than a horde.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Bonus:
Clark and Jon: *walk in with them*
When Batman grounds you from patrolling until you learn to get along with each other…
Red Robin: I really love you, little brother.
Robin: *throws the script at him* -Tt- We have got to get you to that acting clinic, Drake.
Red Robin: And that was with me picturing coffee.
When asked if they ever get scared of Batman…
(Basically every) Robin: I’m scared all right. I’m scared of not measuring up.
Martha: *clutching a picture frame close to her chest* Bruce, I have a lovely picture of you and Clark for you.
Bruce: No, thanks, Mrs. Kent. I know what we both look like.
Driving away from a monster attacking Gotham City be like…
Nightwing: *looking through the rear window of the Batmobile* Uh, guys –
Red Robin: *sitting next to Dick, desperately trying to gain remote control of the Batjet using his communicator*
Robin: *riding shotgun* -Tt- You were picked for a reason, Todd! You’re supposed to be our reckless driver!
Red Hood: *about to drive the Batmobile through a burning building* I’m driving as recklessly as I can!
Red Robin: *crouching behind the giant coin in the Batcave*
Nightwing: *walks in*
Red Robin: *to his walkie-talkie* The Hug Machine is here. I repeat, the Hug Machine is here. Smiling on all cylinders.
The rest of the Batfamily: *temporarily stop brooding to find hiding places*
~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Dick tends to get in the way of angst and sadness.
Batman: I have eight kids. I’ve been tired since 1940.
Happy birthday, Brucie.
Superman: Look, we’re not here to play Good Cop/Batman.
Batman: Hrrn. *cracks knuckles*
Criminal: *gulps*
When your little brother obsessively washes his mouth out after accidentally using your toothbrush…
Jason: You’re worried about germs? I’ve seen you kiss your cow on the mouth.
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