Tim: Dick, we have a problem.
Dick: Guys, I am not your mother, so don’t come tattling to me every time one of you does something that the other one doesn’t like.
Tim: I’m telling you, he’s crazy. He keeps threatening me and talking in a scary voice.
Damian: No I didn’t.
Tim: Oh, so you’re saying you didn’t threaten to cut my hair off and give it to Ra’s as a birthday present?
Damian: You know, Drake, I think you’re taking my words a little out of context.
Tim: What?! What context?!
Author: chocoh0lic0201
Paintball war at the Manor…
Dick: *whispering* Why did the Resurrected Robins stop firing?
Tim: *listening to every sound* I don’t know… They’re probably out of ammo.
Jason: *yelling from a makeshift fort in Damian’s room* Hey, Fake-Dead Robins, we are giving you a chance to surrender!
Dick: *aims his paintball marker at the draped Batman bedsheet* Yeah, they’re definitely out of ammo.
Dick: *leaning over the sofa in the Wayne Manor library* Wow, Little Wing, you were asleep for a long time. What were you dreaming about?
Jason: *yawning and stretching, swiftly catching the novel that falls from his chest as he gets up* Nothing. I don’t like to dream. I try not to think while I’m sleeping.
Damian: *not looking up from the novel he’s reading at the other side of the room* That’s pretty much how you function while you’re awake, too.
Trying to get your brother to make healthier choices be like…
Nightwing: *laying the blueprint for a warehouse across the street on the rooftop deck*
Red Robin: *setting up surveillance equipment*
Robin: *adjusting Goliath’s leash*
Red Hood: *coughs*
Red Robin: Wait a second, are you smoking inside of your helment again?
Red Hood: What? No.
Red Hood: *tries to stifle another cough as smoke comes out of the vents in his helmet* Oops.
Nightwing: *locating Alfred on his communicator* I knew this would happen. And how many snack cakes have you had today?
Red Hood: None.
Nightwing, Red Robin and Robin: *glare at him*
Red Hood: Okay, five… or more. Baker’s dozen at most.
Robin: Do you even know how many there are in a baker’s dozen, Todd?
Red Hood: By my count? Forty-eight.
Aqualad: Look, instead of just running straight into enemy gunfire like we usually do, why don’t we try some reconnaissance this time?
Kid Flash: You mean like spy stuff? That would be cool! I could wear a spy tuxedo –
Robin: *facepalms* No.
Kid Flash: With a hidden spy camera –
Speedy: Dude.
Kid Flash: Inside a tiny spy bowtie –
Miss Martian: Wally…
Kid Flash: Or, I could wear a flower on my lapel –
Superboy: We said no.
Kid Flash: That sprays water in people’s faces, oh man –
Artemis: Shut up, West.
Mission on a remote island…
Red Robin: *cutting through jungle foliage with his bo staff* Brat, who are you talking to – Oh, #*$@!!!
Alien: BLARG!
Robin: *standing in front of the nine-foot-tall, Predator-looking creature, ready to defend it* Stop! He is my friend! He’s not going to eat anybody!
Red Hood: *yelling from behind a bush* Yeah! Says you stink too much to eat!
Selina: *creeping behind a sculpture inside the Wayne Manor, eavesdropping*
Bruce: Now, Dick, what a woman wants, really wants, is for you to listen, truly hear what is troubling her –
Selina: Not half-bad advice –
Bruce: And then you can quickly solve that problem for her and move on to something more interesting –
Selina: *rolls her eyes* Back to normal.
Batman: *trips over the Lasso of Truth*
Batman: I suppose I like hanging around you guys. I don’t know why.
Superman: Thank you?
Wonder Woman: I’m not sure that was a compliment.
Why no one likes playing chess with Bruce Wayne…
Supercomputer: *makes a move*
Batman: Now I’m stumped.
Supercomputer: 😏
Batman: There are three ways that I can beat you, but I don’t know which one to use.
Supercomputer: 😳
Batman: You know what? I’ll use the pawn. They never get to be the hero.
Supercomputer: 😤
Assassin androids: *closing in*
Red Hood: *feeling his empty pockets for spare ammo and finding none* Yeah, well, I have a plan.
Red Robin: Dodging bullets is not a plan!
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