Tag: tim drake

Teaching your little brother (who was raised by assassins in a mountain far away) about sports be like…

Dick: *setting up the rims and nets*

Jason: *dribbling the balls*

Tim: *configuring the shot clock*

Damian: *putting on his cleats* I’ve never played basketball. I’m certain I’ll pick it up. Who’s going to be goalie?

Tim: *mumbles incoherently*

Jason: *walks past him*

Jason: *takes a few steps back*

Jason: I’m giving you the silent treatment, by the way. That’s why I walked right by you and didn’t respond.

Jay, you do realize that Timmy’s probably too sleep-deprived to even remember that you’re pissed at him for some reason, right? Also, that’s not how you do “mad”.

When you’re trying to give your youngest son the “birds and bees” talk but your other sons want to stick around to see how it goes…

Bruce [to Damian]: *opens mouth to talk*

Bruce: *hears a camera shutter sound*

Bruce: Hn.

Bruce: *opens mouth to talk again*

Bruce: *notices the reflection of three heads peeking from a crevice in the cave on the Batcomputer screen*

Bruce [to Damian]: Oh, good, everyone’s in here. I was worried we’d have a private conversation for once.

A voice from the crevice: You’re welcome, Bruce!

When you’re still pissed at your brother for pulling a prank on you during patrol…

Jason: Hey, Timbo, I gotta ask you something –

Tim: *cups an ear* What is that I hear? The ga-ga-ga-ghost of someone who’s dead to me?

Well, for a time, he was dead to everyone.

Jason: *crosses off some boxes on a calendar*

Tim: *typing furiously on the Batcomputer*

Tim: *red eyes with dark rings underneath them, ivory-pale skin, coffee-stained shirt (Or is that blood?)*

Jason: …

Jason: So, how many hours of energy did you drink this time?

He’s more zombie than you are, Jay.

When you should keep your internal monologue internal (or when you try to be smooth but back down at the last minute)…

Tim [to Tam]: Look, I’m going to count to three. If you don’t kiss me, I’ll realize that this was a big mistake and I’ll return to my seat in humiliation.

Date Night be like…

Tim: *typing away on the Batcomputer, eyes completely focused on the screen*

Steph: *sighs*

Tim: *bites into a bagel, then absentmindedly hands it to her*

Steph: *crosses arms*

Tim: *goes through the evidence box that Bruce left for him*

Steph: *taps foot impatiently*

Tim: *resumes working on the Batcomputer*

Tim: So, uh, did you ever get your period? That was a big thing the last time we talked.

Steph:

And that’s how Red Robin went on patrol with a hand-shaped mark on his face the next night. (“Will you just leave it alone, Jason?”)

Mornings at the Manor…

Jason: *scouring the refrigerator*

Dick: *balancing a spoon on the tip of his nose while tiptoeing atop a kitchen stool*

Alfred: *picking up all of Dick’s fallen cutlery*

Tim: *fast asleep and drooling on his pancakes*

Damian: *tossing a “hay salad” for Batcow*

Jason: Ish iz anybody’sh shandwich? Because I’ve eaten half of it and I don’t like it.

You clearly don’t, Jay, based on that turkey scrap dangling from your mouth.