At a Wayne Foundation gala…
Dick: *talking animatedly*
Jason:
Dick: *laughing hysterically at his own joke*
Jason:
Dick: *wiping tears off his eyes*
Jason: Are you wearing make-up?
Dick: I’m always wearing a little bit of foundation, but that’s not the point.
Tag: source: it’s always sunny in philadelphia
Barbara: I don’t know how you guys live with yourselves.
Dick: *grins* One day at a time.
Jason: *scoffs* One day at a time.
Tim: *yawns* One day at a time.
Why the Batman’s never flying commercial with any of his sons again…
Jason: *chucking the menu for first class at the seat behind him* How many beers can we order at once?
Flight attendant: I’m not sure… No one’s ever asked that.
Bruce: *at the seat behind Jason* Hrrrn.
Speculating about Batman’s powers while on Watchtower monitor duty..
Green Lantern: *sketching on a tablet he conjured up* Hey, Wal? What if he can smell crime?
The Flash: *speed-typing a report for Batman* … What if he smells crime, Kyle?
Green Lantern: Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude! What if he can smell crime before it even happens?
The Flash: Dude, that’s amazing… Smells crime before it even happens. Yes, dude!
Green Lantern: WHAT IF HIS ENTIRE HEAD IS JUST ONE BIG NOSE? Write that down, I like that.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Batman: *in a space ship somewhere in the Solar System, listening in via the comms* Hnn.
When Bruce and Clark met Diana…
Batman: *staring intently at Wonder Woman from across the room* Come stand next to me.
Superman: Why?
Batman: So she doesn’t think I’m creepy.
Superman: Well, you are creepy.
Batman: I realize this. That’s why I need you.
ma’am this is my emotional support alien
Taking your crush on a tour of the Manor be like…
Tam: *walking slowly around Tim’s bedroom and checking out posters of obscure rock bands on the walls*
Tam: *smirking* You know, you’re weird.
Tim: *trying to sound chill while (almost) soundlessly dumping his disguises into his cabinet, kicking weapons under his bed, and taking down case photos linked with thread and pinned to his headboard, all while Tam’s back is still to him* You have no idea.
Nightwing [on the Comm Link]: *on his motorcycle, tailing them* Did you two just push Tim out of the moving Batmobile and yell, “You’re out of the team”?!
Red Hood: Now, in hindsight, that does seem kind of rash.
Robin: *pulling into a Batburger drive-through* It was kind of a snap decision.
When Bruce and Clark met Diana…
Batman: *staring intently at Wonder Woman from across the room* Come stand next to me.
Superman: Why?
Batman: So she doesn’t think I’m creepy.
Superman: Well, you are creepy.
Batman: I realize this. That’s why I need you.
When your grandsons, in an effort to step out of their father’s shadow, get an apartment of their own…
Nightwing’s uniform: *splayed on the couch along with Dick’s hair products and smelly socks*
Red Hood’s weapons: *lying in wait for someone to accidentally trip on them*
Red Robin’s coffee: *spilled all over the dining table – which also doubles as Tim’s makeshift bed – and his laptop*
Robin’s pets: *walking in and out of the bathroom, soaking wet*
Alfred: *looking around with a deadpan-but-clearly disappointed look on his face*
Alfred: *clears his throat as he steps over a fallen garbage can on the floor*
Alfred: Who washes the dishes?
Jason: *defensively raising his hands in front of his face* Nobody washes the dishes! We eat the food directly off the coffee table and you know it!
Nightwing: I haven’t seen you for a month, B, and I’m standing here in a neck brace. You gonna ask how I’m doing or what happened or… ?
Batman: *not looking up from the Batcomputer* I assume you did something stupid.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 