When your younger brother becomes the CEO of Batman, Inc…
Tim: Jason… Look… I’m hoping…
Jason: I would rather eat that piece of chewed up gum on the floor.
Tim: I haven’t even asked you to do anything –
Jason: You bossing me around is a crime against nature.
Tim: Jay, you’re being ridiculous…
Jason: *hisses*
Tag: jason todd
Red Hood: Look, don’t judge me…
Red Hood: *eyes Nightwing from head to toe*
Red Hood: Not that you could in that.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
You’re one to talk, Mr. Pill Helmet.
Damian: *walks away after insulting Jason*
Jason: He’s a mean kid.
Tim: So, what? You’re mean, too.
Jason: Yes, but not to you!
Tim: Yesterday you told me my head was too big for my neck.
Jason: That was… constructive criticism.
Tim: Well, what am I supposed to do about it, Jay?!
Jason: As a brother, my job is only to point things out.
Jason: *tosses a small package* First time you’ve ever held a grenade?
Duke: *catches it with trembling hands* Yes. It was never really a goal of mine.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
This is not how you “bond” with a new family member, Jay.
Red Hood: *glares at criminal*
Red Hood: I’m going to go oil my chainsaw.
Red Robin: What?
Nightwing: *whispering* Jay, we don’t need the chainsaw. Is that what’s in that bag?
Red Hood: Oh, we do. Because drawing a confession out of someone is like doing a beautiful dance. A beautiful dance with a chainsaw.
Red Robin: He makes less and less sense as the days go by.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Must be all that Lazarus Pit fluid.
When asked why he and Arsenal get along so well…
Red Hood: *shrugs* We get caught together, we face death together. It happens every week.
Robin: *walks into the Batcave*
Red Hood: Hey, Bruce, is it Bring-Your-Brat-to-Work Day?
Red Robin: Yeah, one of those things wandered in here.
Black Mask: I had no idea that the infamous Red Hood could be bought.
Red Hood: For a quarter of a billion dollars, not only can I be bought, you can gift-wrap me, too.
Damian: *guarding the door at Red Robin’s Nest*
Tim: *on a gurney*
Jason: *knocks*
Damian: *opens the door* Todd, this really isn’t the best time. Drake is pretty sick.
Jason: Oh, no. Poor Timbo. Is Damian taking good care of you?
Tim: Not really.
Jason: Would you like me to take care of you?
Tim: Not really.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Where’re Alfred and Dick when you need ‘em?
At the Batcave’s Minor Procedures Room…
Alfred: *filling a syringe with anesthesia*
Red Hood: *gripping Damian’s hand with both of his*
Red Hood: It’s okay, little buddy, I’m right here with you. Go ahead, Alf.
Robin: Ow! Ow! Ow!
Red Hood: Hey, please go easy on the kid!
Robin: No, you’re squishing my hand, Todd!
Red Hood: Oh. Sorry. But did you feel the shot?
Robin: *glances at the newly emptied syringe being held by Alfred*
Robin: No.
Red Hood: You’re welcome.
Alfred: Perhaps you’d prefer to wait in your room, Master Jason.
Red Hood: I’d prefer a morphine drip and a sponge bath, but the kid needs me!
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