Mornings at the Manor…
Jason: *brushes his teeth*
Jason: *pauses*
Jason: *exasperated sigh*
Jason [to Dick]: You’re flirting with your reflection again. Cut it out.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
And that is why “NEW BATHROOM – Jason” is a suggestion found in the Wayne Manor Home Improvement suggestion box (set up by Alfred).
Tag: jason todd
Mornings at the Manor…
3:30 AM…
Jason: *yawns*
Jason: *turns on kitchen light*
Jason: *heads to the refrigerator to get some milk*
Jason: You’re up early.
Tim: *hanging upside down from the ceiling*
Tim: *staring blankly ahead*
Tim: That would be assuming that I went to sleep.
Mornings at the Manor…
Bruce: *drinking coffee, watching as his children gather in a small circle in the kitchen*
Tim: So, hands in.
Jason, Steph, Duke: *put their hands one on top of the other over Tim’s*
Tim: Defeat that little brat Damian on three! 1, 2, 3!
Bruce: *spits out coffee*
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
You kids just couldn’t at least let your father finish his coffee in peace, could you?
Bruce, Dick, Tim and Alfred: *run into Jason’s bedroom after hearing a scuffle from downstairs*
Jason: *has Damian pinned to the wall*
Damian: *choking Jason*
Jason: *struggling to talk* Nothing to be alarmed about, people. It’s just a man pointing a bull tranquilizer at his little brother.
Damian: *gagged and strapped to the dinosaur’s leg in the Batcave*
Dick: Guys. Cut him down from there.
Jason: *looks to Tim for approval*
Tim: The kid’s a pain in the butt!
Dick: *sighs* Yeah, but he’s our pain in the butt. So, cut him down before Bruce gets back.
Dick and Jason: *watching wide-eyed as Damian argues with Bruce*
Tim: *deadpan* So, he’s added cussing and hurling things to his repertoire. He really is a child prodigy.
Jason: *walks into Damian’s bedroom*
Dick, Tim, and Damian: *playing cards on the floor*
Jason: *plops down beside Tim*
Damian: You can’t be in here, Todd. You already have three farting strikes against you.
Roy: Batman’s probably wondering where you are.
Jason: Nah… I mean, I’ve already died, so what other kind of shenanigans could I get into?
When Batman grounds you for all the shenanigans you pulled with your super best friend…
Damian: You can’t keep Jon and me apart! I’ll… I’ll disobey!
Bruce: I’m also Jason Todd’s father. Do you think you’ve got any tricks I haven’t seen?
Bruce: *leaves room*
Damian: *climbs out of a third story window, slides down a tree, and lands in a wheelbarrow being pushed by Bruce*
Bruce: Hn. Jason Todd: Age 14.
Bruce: *drags Damian back into the Manor by the scruff of his Robin uniform*
Jason: *comes out of a hidden door in the tree*
Jason: Jason Todd: Age 19. Mwahahahaha!
Red Hood: *leans on a wall and slides down into a cross-legged, sitting position*
Red Hood: *checks his watch, sighs, puts down his binoculars and taps a foot impatiently against the rooftop floor*
Red Hood: *takes out his phone, opens incorrect-batfamily-quotes on Tumblr and scrolls through the “big brother of the year” tag*
Red Hood: *chuckles* I would totally do that. *browses* Yup, Timbo needs to sleep. *checks out the comments* That’s… nice. *looks to the sky as if he could use it to talk to someone from another Earth* Thanks… whoever you are. *scrunches his nose* And apparently… there’s a lot of you who think that I’m not too bad…
Red Hood: *gets up in a half a second flat, guns drawn*
Red Robin: *holding his hands up in surrender* Relax, relax. It’s just me.
Black Bat: *soundlessly stepping out of a dark corner* And me.
Nightwing: *hanging upside down and covering the eyeholes on Jason’s helmet* Aaaaand your favorite older brother.
Red Hood: *peeling Dick’s blue-striped fingers off* Look, I don’t give a bat’s butt what the old man said, I’m taking this case –
Robin: *jumps down from behind a gargoyle and throws his hands up in frustration* What took you so long, Todd?! This whole day has been wasted waiting for you!
Red Hood: – gonna freakin’ bring down those lowlives who took Kori no matter what it – Wait, wait. What exactly is going on here?
Nightwing: *smiling excitedly* There is no case, Little Wing.
Red Hood: I don’t –
Spoiler: *swings in from a nearby rooftop* Is he here? Did he buy – Oh, hey, Jay! Starfire’s giggling her orange-y, little head off watching you right now. *points to a hidden camera in a crevice*
Red Hood: WHAT? But the leads –
Red Robin: Were made up. I hacked into your personal satellite. Sent some signals here and there, bada-bing-bada-boom.
Red Hood: How is all this even – I can’t – How’d you guys get past me?
Batgirl: *rappelling from the Batjet with Duke* Because we helped them, duh. It was the only way to get you to come here today.
Red Hood: *takes his helmet off and rubs his face in utter confusion* I followed those leads for three weeks! I mean, Artemis and Bizarro –
Artemis: *lands on the rooftop on Bizarro’s back, shrugs and hands her sword to Damian, who greedily grabs it* Just pretended to be pissed that you had to leave for your “mission”.
Bizarro: We not sad Red Him gone!
The Signal: So does he mean he was or… ?
Red Hood: If this is some kind of *doing air-quotation marks* intervention, you tell that arrogant, self-righteous, emotionally –
Batman: – inept, leather-clad furry that it won’t work.
Red Hood:
Batman: I’d like to give it a try anyway.
Red Hood: But we… we’re supposed to… we hate each other…
Batman: *grins and ruffles Jason’s hair* Hn. Don’t believe everything you read, kid.
Red Hood: *grins sheepishly back*
The Signal: *looks around for secret passageways on the rooftop and whispers to Tim* Where’d the boss even come from?
Alfred [on the Comm Link]: *clears his throat loudly* If you’re all quite finished, the rest of your family and friends – *muffled* Mr. Harper, once again, that vase is a family heirloom and was never intended for target practice – are waiting.
Batman: Let’s get you home.
Red Hood: Right. I’m starving.
Alfred: Please do hurry up. The candles can only stay up for so long.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
I hope I’m not too late… Happy birthday, Jay!
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 