Arsenal: *takes control of the jet from an unconscious pilot*
Red Hood: Roy, what are you doing? You don’t know how to fly!
Arsenal: I drove a motorcycle off a cliff once. How different could it be?
Arsenal: *looks out through the windshield*
Arsenal: Hmmm. What’s the ocean doing in the sky?
Damian [about Jon]: I need some candy for our first playdate, but I don’t want to come on too strong.
Jason: M&M’s?
Damian: Well, if I pick plain, he’ll think I’m cheap. And if I pick peanut, he may have an allergy. You just killed him, Todd!
Jason: *shrugs* How about Charleston Chew?
Damian: What is this, Brooklyn in the fifties? Don’t just say stuff.
Jason: You asked for my help, then you don’t want it.
Alfred: Excuse me, Master Damian, but why not consider an Almond Joy? It looks like you only brought something for yourself, but then you just happen to have two pieces.
Damian: Finally, a real suggestion!
Jason: *gets a piece of Almond Joy from the tray* If he doesn’t like coconut, you’re screwed.
When Batman grounds you for all the shenanigans you pulled with your super best friend…
Damian: You can’t keep Jon and me apart! I’ll… I’ll disobey!
Bruce: I’m also Jason Todd’s father. Do you think you’ve got any tricks I haven’t seen?
Bruce: *leaves room*
Damian: *climbs out of a third story window, slides down a tree, and lands in a wheelbarrow being pushed by Bruce*
Bruce: Hn. Jason Todd: Age 14.
Bruce: *drags Damian back into the Manor by the scruff of his Robin uniform*
Jason: *comes out of a hidden door in the tree*
Jason: Jason Todd: Age 19. Mwahahahaha!
And the “Big Brother of the Year” Award goes to…
Jason: *reading the newspaper*
Damian: *slams his suitcase on the kitchen counter*
Damian [about Gotham Academy]: I can’t believe I have to start another year at school. I never learned anything at that suck shack.
Jason: Hey! Who taught you language like that?
Damian: A kid at school.
Jason: So you did learn something.
Jason: How many times must I say I’m sorry?
Tim: You haven’t said you’re sorry.
Jason: I know. I was hoping the number would be zero.
Damian: I can’t believe Todd ruined another family barbecue!
Jason: *offended* Hey! Everybody pees in the pool!
Tim: Not from the diving board!
When you humor your 13-year-old League of Assassins-raised brother at his second chance at childhood…
Damian: *pretends to pour tea for Alfred the Cat, Batcow, Jerry the Turkey, Goliath, and Jason*
Jason: *facepalms* I don’t know why I agreed to this.
Damian: *glares* Because you like the taste of my imaginary tea.
Jason: Oh, you’re right. *“sips”*
When you’re all of a sudden sentimental during a family barbecue…
Dick: *stares at the Manor’s facade while grilling*
Dick: Someday, when I’m old and wrinkly, perhaps I’ll go back and look fondly at this house.
Jason: *sips beer* Well, stop in and say hi to me because I’ll still be here chilling in my basement bachelor pad.
Tim: *tosses a frisbee back to Damian* Make sure to water my backyard grave.
Jason: As long as I can dig you up and stick you on the front porch every Halloween.
Tim: Just don’t dress me up as a woman.
Jason: We’ll see.
Why Dick is Damian’s favorite older brother…
Tim [about Damian]: In a way, I think we learned more from him than he learned from us.
Jason: Well, obviously. Because we taught him nothing.
After watching a Batfamily home video clip of a half-asleep, coffee stain-covered Tim tumbling down the Manor stairs…
Damian: *smirks* They’re going to eat this up at Show and Tell.
Dick: Dames, I’m not sure if I’m comfortable with the idea of your classmates laughing at our family’s private moments. How would you like it if, twenty years from now, people were laughing at things you did?
Damian: Not likely. Come on, have a sense of humor about yourself, Grayson.
Damian: *watches a clip of himself on the toilet angrily yelling “I’m a big boy, Todd!” while Jason runs away howling in laughter behind a shaky camera*
Damian: -Tt- I gotta find something else quick.
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