After finding out that Red Hood’s a former Robin…
Superman: I know this comes as a shock to you –
Batman: Please, Clark. If I had a nickel for every time one of my sons died, got resurrected by an assassin overlord’s daughter, and came back as a lethal antihero, I’d haVE A NICKEL!
Sparring session at the Batcave…
Nightwing: *lights up escrima sticks*
Red Hood: *cocks guns*
Red Robin: *twirls Bo staff*
Robin: *pulls sword out of scabbard*
Robin: *pushes it back*
Red Robin: *smirks* What are you afraid of?
Robin: I’m afraid I’m gonna hit you all so hard that I’ll be an only child.
And he didn’t mean that to be cocky this time. It’s a legitimate concern.
Batman:
Justice League:
Batman: *has four pairs of pixie boots under his cape and two domino mask-covered pairs of eyes peeking out of it*
Justice League: …
Superman: So, Bruce… Why didn’t you tell us you had children?
Batman: Okay, here’s the deal. I didn’t want you to know.
Because he works alone, okay?
At the Batcave’s Minor Procedures Room…
Red Hood: *holding Damian’s hand as Damian’s about to get stitches*
Red Hood: It’s okay, buddy, I’m right here with you. Go ahead, Alf.
Robin: Ow! Ow! Ow!
Red Hood: Hey, please go easy on the kid!
Robin: No, you’re squishing my hand, Todd!
Red Hood: Oh. Sorry. But did you feel the shot?
Robin: No.
Red Hood: You’re welcome.
Alfred: Perhaps you’d prefer to wait in your room, Master Jason.
Red Hood: I’d prefer a morphine drip and a sponge bath, but the kid needs me!
At the Batcave’s Minor Procedures Room…
Alfred: *filling a syringe with anesthesia*
Red Hood: *gripping Damian’s hand with both of his*
Red Hood: It’s okay, little buddy, I’m right here with you. Go ahead, Alf.
Robin: Ow! Ow! Ow!
Red Hood: Hey, please go easy on the kid!
Robin: No, you’re squishing my hand, Todd!
Red Hood: Oh. Sorry. But did you feel the shot?
Robin: *glances at the newly emptied syringe being held by Alfred*
Robin: No.
Red Hood: You’re welcome.
Alfred: Perhaps you’d prefer to wait in your room, Master Jason.
Red Hood: I’d prefer a morphine drip and a sponge bath, but the kid needs me!
Damian: *guarding the door at Red Robin’s Nest*
Tim: *on a gurney*
Jason: *knocks*
Damian: *opens the door* Todd, this really isn’t the best time. Drake is pretty sick.
Jason: Oh, no. Poor Timbo. Is Damian taking good care of you?
Tim: Not really.
Jason: Would you like me to take care of you?
Tim: Not really.
Where’re Alfred and Dick when you need ‘em?
Jason: *picks up a piece of paper by the phone*
Jason: Timbo, what’s this? A phone message?
Tim: Yeah. Some dude called for you.
Jason: Who? I can’t read your handwriting.
Tim: *reads the message out loud* “You’re a big, selfish jerk.”
Jason: Okay, I know who it is.
Tim: Probably Roy.
Jason: Yup, Roy.
Let him be very clear…
Jason [to the Batfamily]: There’s something you should know about me. When I say “I understand”, it doesn’t mean that I agree, it doesn’t mean that I understand, it doesn’t even mean that I’m listening.
Oh, our bad, Jay. Our bad.
Mornings at the Manor…
Jason: *pops open a can of beer*
Damian: If drinking makes you feel bad, why do you drink, Todd?
Jason: Nobody likes a smart ass, kid.
Damian: You have to put a dollar in the swear jar. You said “ass”.
Jason: Tell you what. Here’s a twenty. That ought to cover me until lunch.
When Red Robin comes back to the land of the living…
Jason [to Tim]: Look at you! All grown up and back living with Bruce… How good do you feel about yourself right now, on a scale from one to two?
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