Tag: jason todd

Rescuing your little brother be like…

Red Hood: *lock-picks a chain binding Damian, who’s hanging upside down and is slowly being lowered into a pool of piranhas*

Red Hood: Just remember that I’m doing you a favor, kid.

Robin: -Tt-

Red Hood: Don’t forget it in a few years when I ask you to change my diapers.

Robin: Okay, Todd! Wait, what?

And the “Big Brother of the Year” Award goes to…

Dick: *baking cookies (Alfred’s recipe)*

Jason: *playing with Titus*

Damian: *arrives from Gotham High*

Damian: *slams his suitcase on the kitchen island*

Dick: …

Jason: …

Damian: *takes a seat on a stool, buries his face in his hands, and groans*

Dick: Soooo… How’s school?

Damian: *muffled* Okay.

Dick: Anything noteworthy happen?

Damian: *muffled* No.

Jason: *throws his hands up in the air* I thought you said he got dumped!

Dick: *through gritted teeth* I was easing into it.

Jason: Oh. Okay, go ahead.

It’s a tie!

When you find out that your brother’s developed a crush…

Jason: *shrugs* She is kind of cute.

Dick: Why don’t you go talk to her?

Jason: I don’t know what to say.

Dick: That’s never stopped you from runnin’ your mouth before.

Tam: *entering the Wayne Enterprises building*

Tim: *fidgeting with his double-breasted suit*

Tim: *closes his eyes for a second, then exhales*

Tim: Do I look okay?

Jason: Timbo, she waved at you, she smiled. Clearly her standards aren’t that high.

Tim: Right, thanks.

When one of Batman’s sons is brought in for questioning…

Commisioner Gordon: Are the cuffs really neccessary?

GCPD Officer: He broke both of Officer Wu’s arms, Sir –

Gordon: He what?!

Officer: – while shouting, “Wooo”.

Red Hood: Happy coincidence.

Gordon: Mr. Hood, do we have to sedate you?

Red Hood: Well, I wouldn’t say no to a drink.