At Red Hood’s safe house…
Jason: *heaving and clutching at his chest*
Jason, to Damian, who’s clinging to the ceiling like a spider: What have I said about you sneaking up on me? I could’ve been shaving. This could’ve been a Sweeney Todd moment!
Tag: jason todd
Tim: *walks in on Dick and Jason excitedly discussing the previous night’s events*
Tim: *wiping dried-up drool off from his face and onto his coffee-stained pajamas*
Tim: What party?
Jason: Aw. The two saddest words in the English language.
Dick and Barbara: *watching Damian jump from one gigantic memento to another in the Batcave*
Barbara: He is kind of adorable.
Dick: I know! Isn’t he? Remember when Jason was like this?
Jason: What the heck do you people say when I’m not here?
Jason: Let me tell you about a little innovation called “Netflix”. You’ll never miss another movie again.
Tim: Really?
Jason: I swear. You pick a film on your computer. Three days later, there’s a disc in your mailbox. You gotta stay up with technology, Timbo!
Tim: Gee. Thanks.
Jason: *cockily walks away*
Tim [to Dick]: Can you believe he doesn’t know about streaming? If I ever get that out of touch, kill me.
That’s what being in a coffin for a long time can do to you, Timmy.
Jason: Yo, Timbo, you look tired and you’re all sweaty.
Tim: You look tired and you’re all sweaty all the time. What’s your excuse, huh? You wanna go there, Jay?
Jason: *blinks*
Chill, Tim.
Things that earn you “The Look” from Alfred…
Alfred: *adjusting Jason’s bow tie and dusting off his tuxedo*
Jason: Do I have to tuck my shirt in? Because, honestly, that’s kind of a deal-breaker.
Alfred: *narrows eyes*
The ensuing fear in Jason’s eyes… Man.
Tim: If I were sleep-deprived, could I do this?
Jason: Uhhh. What are you doing?
Tim: Cartwheels. Am I not doing them?
Jason: *shakes head and walks away*
Jason: *revs up his motorcycle*
Jason: You need a ride back to the Manor?
Dick: *stretching his legs* No, no. I’m going to go for a light 15K. I missed yesterday.
Dang, son.
Leaving your grandsons at the Manor to run some errands be like…
Alfred: *hands over the cordless phone to Dick*
Alfred: *gives him, Jason, Tim, and Damian “The Look”*
Alfred: I pre-dialed 9-1-1, so all you have to do is press “Send”.
You know them so well, Alfie.
Looking at Gotham City crime rate statistics on the Batcomputer…
Jason: Man, a thirty-five percent increase!
Tim: It’s actually thirty-four point two percent.
Jason: Thirty-four point two percent.
Jason: *in a robotic voice, doing a robotic walk* I am Timothy, the Numbers Robot.
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