Tag: jason todd

When you’re curious to find out what you could’ve been had you not met Batman…

S.T.A.R. Labs Scientist: Here are your scientifically selected careers.

Batgirl: “Architect”. Nice.

The Signal: “Insurance salesman”. Uhhh, right.

Spoiler: “Salmon gutter”? What in the –

Robin: “Military strongman”. -Tt-

Red Robin: “Systems analyst”. *shrugs*

Nightwing: “Homemaker”?

S.T.A.R. Labs Scientist: Mm-hm. It’s like a mommy.

Red Hood: “Police officer”? Well, I’ll be jiggered.

If all the Robins were still in school…

Alfred: Master Damian’s grades are up a little this term, but Master Dick’s are way down.

Bruce: Hn. I always have a responsible son and an irresponsible one. Why can’t both my sons be responsible?

Alfred: You have four sons, Master Bruce.

Bruce: Alfred, Ace and Titus don’t count as my sons.

Alfred: No, Master Jason and Master Tim!

Batman, you have a gazillion kids.

Damian: I’m not giving up! I don’t care if I have to knock on every door in this two-bit town. I’m going to find Titus!

Jason: *flops on the couch* And I’ll be right here watching TV!

You know, like all good, older brothers do, Dames.

Red Hood: I guess I am a criminal…

Red Robin: Bruce didn’t call you a criminal, he called you a little boy in need of love.

Red Hood: A LITTLE BOY?! *punches the wall* I’ll show him what this “little boy” can do!

On board the Batplane…

Robin: -Tt-

Robin: All I needed was this aircraft, so why is it full of you idiots?

Red Robin: *locks the plane door behind him and sends his own jet back home via autopilot* I wasn’t gonna sit around the Batcave all by myself.

Nightwing: *lands gracefully from the ceiling and onto the captain’s seat* One of us needed multi-engine time for his pilot’s license.

Red Hood: *comes out of a crate and dusts off his jacket* And one of us would go pretty much anywhere to piss off your father.

Yup, it had nothing to do with them wanting to annoy you like good, loving, older brothers do.

When your youngest brother’s best friend comes by to visit the Manor…

Jon: *checking out the Red Hood helmet with his X-ray vision* Jason, you are the coolest adult ever!

Jason: Wow. I’ve never been called an adult before, but I’ve been tried as one.

Mornings at the Manor…

Jason: All right, brat. I’ll give you back your tofu, but first you have to forgive me and treat me like a brother.

Damian: No.

Jason: All right, then just give me back my breakfast.

Damian: *pauses from giving Batcow the omelette and glares at Jason*

~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~

Ya started it, Jay.

Mornings at the Manor…

Jason: Hey, hands off my pickle, brat!

Damian: I don’t see your name on it, Todd!

Jason: No, but – *grabs the pickle and licks it*

Damian: Oh, yeah? *grabs it back and dunks it in his milk* Checkmate.

Jason: Huh. Always thinking two moves ahead.

~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~

Quit playing with your food, kids.