Dick and Jason: *watching wide-eyed as Damian argues with Bruce*
Tim: *deadpan* So, he’s added cussing and hurling things to his repertoire. He really is a child prodigy.
Tag: jason todd
Damian: *gagged and strapped to the dinosaur’s leg in the Batcave*
Dick: Guys. Cut him down from there.
Jason: *looks to Tim for approval*
Tim: The kid’s a pain in the butt!
Dick: *sighs* Yeah, but he’s our pain in the butt. So, cut him down before Bruce gets back.
Intimidating Black Mask’s henchman…
*cut scenes of each of Red Hood’s weapons all over his body as he puts his clothes back on*
Henchman: *whimpers*
Red Robin: I think he gets it.
Red Hood: Just film the confessions, Red, don’t editorialize!
Red Hood: *to henchman* Do you get it?
Henchman: Yes! Please!
Red Hood: Because I swear to Batman, I will strip back down and show you all over again –
Henchman: No, I get it, I get it! You have a lotta guns –
Red Hood: And a knife, which I am going to push *mock demo* very slowly into your urethra –
Red Robin: *groans in secondhand embarrassment* Ew.
When you walk in to see your older brother all dressed up for a date…
Jason: I feel like I just walked into a bad episode of “Miami Vice”.
Dick: *folding the sleeves of his white blazer and twisting his spit curl* First of all, there are no bad episodes of “Miami Vice”.
Just like there are no bad episodes in Richard Grayson’s closet. Amaright? (Anyone? No?)
Red Hood: *getting frisked by Black Mask’s henchmen as he enters the compound*
Red Hood: “Lift up your shirt, pull off your boots.” Under normal circumstances, I’d like where this was heading.
When you find out that one of the most dangerous criminal masterminds in the world has set up headquarters in Gotham City…
Red Robin: What should we do?
Nightwing: Stay away.
Red Hood:
Red Robin:
Robin:
Nightwing: … Or, if we’re stupid, we go there and set up surveillance.
Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin and Robin: *immediately jump out of their seats and start grabbing their gear*
Me: *yells as they race out of the Batcave in their respective vehicles* Take care, boys! I’ll try to calm your father down when he gets back from the Watchtower!
Red Hood and Arsenal: *walking*
Arsenal: *pauses*
Arsenal: Does that sound like somebody saying “No”, “Wait”, “Stop” to you?
Red Hood: *listens*
Red Hood: Yeah.
Arsenal: *continues walking* Oh, well.
When you hang out at your little brother’s team headquarters to freeload but you just can’t catch a break…
Red Hood: *wiping sticky, white fluid off his hair* Oh, are you kidding me? Dick move, pigeon!
Beast Boy: *flying away* Screw you, asswipe!
In which Jason learns that green-colored birds are not always who they seem.
When you ask Batman how to contact Wonder Woman…
Bruce: I’ll text you her number. I like texting. Emoticons.
Dick:
Tim:
Damian:
Jason: What the f –
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
So why do you keep making Jim use the Batsignal?
When you ask Batman how to contact Wonder Woman…
Bruce: I’ll text you her number. I like texting. Emoticons.
Dick:
Tim:
Damian:
Jason: What the f –
So why do you keep making Jim use the Batsignal?
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 